MySpam #4: "Be a Man."

Ah, the joy of spam mail. As I found myself lacking content for a blog post today, a quick glance through my spam mail provided just what I needed.

Here’s the familiar setup. Subject line: “mine now.” From: “Be a Man.” This time it was the spammer’s handle that caught my attention and drew me into his web.

I should have guessed that this was a male enhancement email, which may not have prevented me from reading it, but would have at least prepared me. The first line of the email was a pleasant salutation: “Greetings!” It was all down hill from there.

“### ManXL - Have a Bigger Penis Now ###”

Then came the second funniest part of the email:

“You've read about them in the papers...You've seen them on the news...
Now is the time - # You can have a bigger Penis too ##”

I’ve read about them in the papers? Seen them on the news? It’s funny that they never say what it is I’ve seen in the papers. I’m assuming they mean the drugs I would be taking, but technically they could be talking about those who have taken them. Either way, that was the second funniest line.

Next came a description of the effects of this miracle drug: “100 % safe with no side effects, all natural herbal ingredients, etc.” The “etc.” is inappropriate for this blog and included words like, “1-3 inches,”"hard," “permanently,” “drive,” “rock,” and “erect.” Not inappropriate words in themselves, but when strung together, they can be slightly offensive. And now for my favorite part of the email, which forced me to include it in my list of favorite Myspams: the closing.

“Thanks,

My email waste your time? Excuse me there

D”

It was the “excuse me there” that got me. No D, you didn’t waste my time. Quite the contrary. If only every spam email was this entertaining.

Here’s a list of the other MySpams I enjoy.

"Sword" from "Samurai"
Mind Control Powers
Rob Huge Banks and Get Away With It