Friday, November 21, 2008

Speedo Guy

Yeah, this is about four years old, but for some reason I had missed it. Maybe you did too.

First, just watch this video and see if you notice anything out of the ordinary.



Wow. Dude missed back to back free throws in a big game. That is a bit odd. Perhaps you noticed why? If you missed it, go back and look again.

What you are witnessing is the emergence of Speedo Guy. You may not have heard of him, but you won't forget him. He took the Duke/UNC rivalry to a whole new level.

This next video is a little story they did on Speedo Guy. It's awesome. He sounds like someone who would instantly be my friend. Kind of reminds me of a few other friends I have. Happy Friday!

Friday, November 14, 2008

The Sock Conspiracy



I'm walking down the street and a tall, lanky man strides into my view. As he approaches, I notice an oddly familiar pep in his step. The toothy grin on his face is infectious and I think to myself, "That is one happy man." He turns and winks at me. Suddenly, I understand. "You're wearing new socks," I say, as a matter of fact. "Mmm, hmmm..." he sings back at me, and he whistles on his merry way.

Ahhhh... There are few things more pleasurable than slipping on a warm pair of brand new socks. Something about the smooth way they hug your feet is darn near unbeatable. It's a proven fact that if you wear new socks, you will have a good day. Actually, I do believe Barack Obama was wearing new socks last Tuesday.

Here is a picture of Obama on Monday, where he was wearing old socks, but the mere thought of the new socks he would wear the next day brought a slight smile to his face.



And then here he is on Tuesday, with his brand new socks on.



But, alas. Like all of the most wonderful things in this world, that new sock feeling is a fleeting one. After that first day, your new socks begin to lose their luster. Suddenly, they don't hug as tight or look so bright. Your feet feel neglected and your heart is as empty as an old-worn-out sock.



You know what is incredible? We have gotten to the point where we can control things with our mind. It's true. We can wire our brains to computers and use technology to move things around.

But what good is technology if we can't make socks that stay glorious for more than one day? Honestly, why hasn't this happened? It seems simple compared with hooking computers to our brains. We should have easily figured it out by now.

I'll tell you why it doesn't exist. Here's a little clue:



That's right, it's a damn Sock Conspiracy!! Nobody ever thinks about it, because it's just a sock. But it could be so much more. The sock making companies know this. They also know that if they developed this technology, nobody would buy new socks anymore. That's why Willy Wonka isn't real. The fat cats who make candy would never really want an "everlasting" gobstopper.

If that doesn't get your blood boiling, think about this. Have you ever wondered why socks are shaped the way they are? You probably thought it was because your foot kind of looks like that. Well, you're wrong. Sock companies make socks a certain way, so that you'll be inclined to put it on your foot at the exact same place every time. Why is this? Obviously, everybody knows that the heel of the sock gets the most abuse and wears out the quickest. So the sock companies developed ways to make sure the sock threads supporting your heel will have to bear the brunt of the abuse every...single...time.

The shape of the sock isn't the only way they do this. They put patterns on the sock where the top of your foot is supposed to be, but leave the bottom blank. Dress socks are the best at this tactic.



If you don't believe me, try this. The next time you go to put on some socks, try purposely "putting them on wrong." I'll bet your feet won't know the difference. I swear, I'm wearing mine wrong right now, and my feet feel fine. My socks last about four times longer than they normally would.

So now you're thinking, "why would I want to keep wearing my old socks when the best thing about a sock is getting a new one?" Well, now you're just one step away from truly opening your mind.

Since sock companies don't want to develop the technology to make "everlasting new" socks, and have even gone so far as to force us to wear down the socks we have, the only way we can fight back is to wear our old socks as long as we possibly can. That will force competing sock companies to come up with the longest lasting, most comfortable sock known to man. Don't fall into their trap. Try using all of your sock, instead of just what the sock companies want you to use. It's the only way we'll get what we truly deserve in a sock.

Open your mind. Fight the Conspiracy.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween 2008: Politics Edition

*EDIT: Added new video 11/3/08.

It's Halloween and if you're looking for the scariest thing on the internet, you can mosey on over to this page: The Scariest Thing On The Internet.

As for me, few things scare me more than politics. It's scary how much of the world is run through politics. Not just government stuff, but within our work environments, social settings, and pretty much everything we do from day to day.

Heck, I don't even really know what "politics" means, which scares me even more. And I absolutely hate trying to "talk politics" with someone. Mostly because I have no clue what I'm talking about and don't know enough to even try to pretend.

Anyways, in honor of election day coming up and it being Halloween, I've found some scary "politics" videos for you to enjoy. These are random videos that I've come across recently and if you are ever around the internet, you've probably seen them. If you find any that should be added, feel free to leave a link in the comments, or shoot me an email and I'll add it to the list. Have a ghoulishly good time:

The Job
The first scary video is one of those mind-bending glimpses into the irony of our present financial "crisis." Brought about by politics, no doubt.




Terry Tate: Reading Is Fundamental
If you're not one of the 1,293,080 people who have already seen this video, you need to get out more. Or less. However that works out.




Sarah Palin Interview with Katie Couric
Okay, I know you've all seen this one. I don't care who you're voting for, this is pretty darn scary. I'm sure there are a million excuses and this could happen to anybody, but good grief, I mean... seriously. It reminds me of another video where somebody folded under the pressure. See if you can guess which one before watching it.



Got your guess ready? If so, click here: Scary Mystery Video


Synchronized Presidential Debating
This next video just proves there's nothing new under the sun. This video takes all three presidential debates and meshes them into one synchronized synopsis of the issues. We've heard it all before, and out of the same horse's mouth no less.



The Sidewalk to Nowhere, McCain Supporters in Bethlehem, PA
This is definitely scary. Blind ignorance and hatred is about as frightening as it gets. These folks put on a fine display of both while at a McCain rally. As ignorant as they are for acting like this, it would be just as stupid to say all McCain voters are like these morons. And don't worry, the next video of Obama supporters proves you can be equally idiotic, regardless of who you vote for. And it's nice in this video how all of the Obama supporters' comments are conveniently deleted.



Clueless Obama Voters In Harlem
The last video is from Howard Stern's show, where they sent someone to go out into Harlem and talk to the voters about why they are voting for Obama. I don't need to say how manipulative this is, but it's still pretty scary.



Barack Obama Not a US Citizen?
This is a pretty interesting video that I'm surprised hasn't gotten more attention (at least in mainstream media). A lawyer is suing Obama, claiming that he's not a US citizen and not eligible to run for the presidency. It seems like if this is legit, it's pretty freaking scary that nobody is concerned about this. Right? Watch the video and you tell me. It's also interesting that YouTube censored the title of this video (read the info on the YouTube page if interested).



In closing, I find it pretty scary how little I have cared to educate myself on the issues leading up to this election (or any election at any level throughout my life). We're lucky to live here and I definitely take this right for granted. It's dang scary when I think about it. So anyways, hope you all take the time to find out why you're gonna vote for whoever (whomever?) you vote for.

Alright, that's all I've got for now. Hope everyone has a safe and scary Halloween!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Video: "Take On Me" Literal Version

Wow. Once again I find myself saying, "Why didn't I think of that?" In this hilarious video, someone was creative enough to rewrite the lyrics to a popular song so that they match the action going on in the music video. It's genius. They chose A-Ha's "Take On Me." A Ha, a ha.



The pipe wrench stuff is brilliant. I can only hope there are many more of these.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Best Job in the World: Voice Actor

I've found another job to add to my growing list of things I'd love to get paid to do: voices for cartoons. It's got to be one of the best jobs possible. Go into a sound booth, make some funny voices, get paid. Sweet.

The best part would be when you're in a group of strangers and they all start doing their impression of your cartoon voice, then you're all like, "Dammit Bobby, you're doing that voice all wrong." Then they would all bow down to your superior impressionistic skills. Except it wouldn't be an impression, cause it's you.

The next best thing to being a voice actor is watching a voice actor do a familiar character. Which brings us to today's fun. I've compiled a small group of videos where you can get in on the joys of being a voice actor. There may be a downside to this job, but I just refuse to see it.

The first clip, as you've no doubt guessed, is from when the cast of the Simpsons appeared on Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by the unconquerable James Lipton. If you've somehow missed this, it's awesome. Take a gander:


Simpsons: Inside the Actors Studio



In the next video, we actually literally go inside the actor's studio with the cast of The Family Guy. It's weird when they say their lines out of context and without the other characters responding. And when they repeat the same line over and over, hoping to get one right. Pretty interesting.

Family Guy Voices


This next video may be my favorite of the bunch. It's an incredibly interesting clip from one of the greatest voice actors of all time: Mel Blanc. He goes through each of his famous characters and tells how he came up with their voices. Man, I miss those old Looney Tunes.

Mel Blanc: Creating Warner Bros. Cartoon Voices


Next up is a series of videos that go behind the scenes of voices in Disney animation. It's also ridiculously interesting and if you only have time for one (they're all short), watch the first one.

Behind the Scenes: Disney Character Voices. Part 1



Part 2


Part 3


Part 4


Boy, this is fun. The only way this could be better is if it were somehow possible to get an iconic figure from my childhood to tell me more about voices in animation. Someone like... oh, I don't know... Doogie Howser, M.D.!!! (cool voice stuff is about 2:00 in)

Best of Disney: Voices of Characters


Well, if that didn't convince you that voice acting is one of the best jobs possible, then you're probably a voice actor. Actually, the whole animation process is pretty darn cool. Hope you enjoyed this little break from whatever boring, dead-end job you have. If you're still bored, you can watch the entire episode of "Inside the Actor's Studio" with the Simpsons. Enjoy!

Simpsons Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


Part 4


Part 5

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Colts Lose Again

I just have to get this off my chest, cause I'm so ticked. Aside from the many ways we screwed up this game (missed tackles, dropped passes, penalties), why in the name of all things holy are we passing the ball at 1st and goal from the 1.5 yard line? Why? It stopped the clock and gave them way too much time for a drive. Stupid! Yuck, I'm disgusted. This could be a really disappointing year. Oh and for the record, Colts at Lucas Oil Stadium: 0-2.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

Boom Goes the Dynamite

Here's a classic for you. Good ol' Indiana home-grown talent.

Ball State news reporter Brian Collins gives us the sports beat. Pay close attention to the Pacers highlights. That's where Brian really gets into a groove and unleashes the now infamous phrase, "Boom Goes the Dynamite."



I think his boyish looks are just perfect.

After you've enjoyed this a few times, try listening to it while reading the transcript. It's somehow even funnier. Good stuff.

Boom Goes the Dynamite- with transcript

Then I also found this video, which shows the publicity Collins received and also reveals where he came up with his ingenious catchphrase. I won't spoil it for you, but it's pretty much the best possible story.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Colts Season Opener 2008

Well, I think I'm finally a few days removed enough to talk about the Colts losing to the Bears last Sunday. It sure was disappointing. Here's what I took from it.

The Good

1) Lucas Oil Stadium.


It looks awesome at night. And apparently, everything works. In a night where not a lot of good things happened for the Colts, at least their new home is cool. Here's a sweet video I found of the opening ceremony with some helicopters that flew over the top.



2) The Colts picked a good time to lose. I know every game counts, but this game isn't as important as many others will be. It's early enough that we can get some things fixed and get some experience for our newer players (the O-line). And it's not like a devastating blow to our momentum heading into the playoffs or anything.

3) Chargers lose their game and Patriots lose their season.


Of course, the Patriots will probably end up making the playoffs and being awesome. I seriously don't like seeing Brady go down like that. Any time that happens just sucks. Even if I do hate the Patriots.

4) Dwight Freeney. He looked like his old self, which is a really good sign.

I think that's it for the good.

The Bad

1) Losing for the first time in September (or October), after 21 in a row. Yep, the Colts won't go at least 7-0 for the first time since 2004. At least they didn't go 18-0 in a season, then lose the Super Bowl.

2) Colts run defense. Reminds me of the 2006 Colts, except they've been combined with an average offense. The Colts made Forte look like a stud and that 50-yard run on third and long was devastating. Speaking of third down...

3) 10 of 16 third down conversions. By the Bears. That's terrible. A few were pretty long third downs too. The Colts have got to do a better job getting the other team off the field.

4) 53 yards rushing. By the Colts. Enough said.

5) Colts Offensive line. They just got outplayed. The silver lining here is that they didn't play terribly and they're still getting used to their positions.

6) Jeff Saturday. This goes along with #5, but it sure hurts not having Saturday. I'm sure Jamey Richard will improve and he did a decent job. But I bet we win this game if Saturday was playing.

7) Red zone touchdowns. First two times we get into the red zone, we settle for field goals. We've got to get touchdowns dangit.

The Ugly

1) Too many Bears fans. Maybe it's just me, but it seemed like there were a lot of Bears fans in the crowd. I couldn't believe the noise out there when our offense was on the field. What's up with that?

2) Opening kickoff. Instead of kicking to Hester and blowing him up, we do a weak little "squib kick" (or whatever it's called). They get the ball on like the 40 and it sends the message that we're scared. I guess it may have been a good idea, given what happened at the Super Bowl, but still.

3) Harrison's fumble. He's been back two games since his injury and fumbled both times. Before that, he averaged like a fumble every 10 years.

4) Going for it on 4th and 1. This was a pretty bad call. I guess if we make it, it changes everything, but given how much time was left and how we couldn't run for shat against the Bears, that makes it a bad call. Oh well.

5) Having to watch a game with a Bears fan. This is still one of the most annoying things in the planet. I've said all I need to say about it here. Nothing's changed.

Well, that's all I can think of and this post is getting long. All in all, it's great to be watching football again. I sure hope this game was just a fluke and not a sign of the future. We'll find out this week against Minnesota. Dangit, I'd hate to go through a season of sucking. I'm sure eventually we'll probably have to deal with it, but I'm not ready yet. C'mon Colts! Be good, dangit! GO HORSE!

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

How Great Commenting Can Enhance Your Viewing Pleasure

Today I have two seemingly unrelated videos to share with you. One is from a high school football game in 1994; the other from a local newscast. How could they possibly be related?

When I first watched these videos, I immediately knew they were great. Then when I started thinking about why, I realized that it wasn't because of the video footage itself. It was because of the people commenting on the video. If you mute either one of these, you will immediately loose 65% of your viewing pleasure.

The first video is from the 1994 Plano East- John Tyler football game. It's an amazing comeback and I'm sure most of you have probably seen it before. When you watch it this time through, pay attention to the commentators. They remind me a bit of ol' Slick Leonard. See if you can pick out these gems: "Attababy!" "Dadgummit." "Good-gosh Almighty!" and of course, "I done wet ma britches!" Be sure to watch this video to the end, it's awesome.



Then in this next video we see a local news crew doing a segment about a fashion show in Paris. During the show, one of the models stumbles and falls. I admit, that can be funny. But what makes this hilarious is listening to these two guys laugh at her fall.

I promise you cannot watch this entire video, with the sound on, and not laugh by the end of it. I would even argue that you could probably close your eyes and just listen to them laugh, and it would make you laugh. They just have that perfect laugh, which is indescribably contagious. I've watched it five times in a row now and laughed every time. Just see for yourself.



Ah man, that's good stuff.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Fun With Lord of the Rings

At the risk of blaspheming one of the greatest movie trilogies of all time, I'm going to post a few videos.

We'll start with a short clip featuring the Horn of Gondor. This is a subtle video, which takes a certain sophisticated humor to really appreciate. Sorry if you don't get it. That just means you're too lowbrow to understand.

Horn of Gondor


Next up is an upbeat-techno song, which really displays the creative talent of this generation of youth. It's a great mix of music and video, creating a new media which any generation can appreciate.

They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard


This next one is also very creative, offering up an alternative ending to The Lord of the Rings. It's funny that I never thought of this. It's also retarded in many ways, but I still like the video.

How Lord of the Rings Should Have Ended


This last one is probably my favorite of all. It's a voiceover of one of the more awkward scenes in Lord of the Rings. Gimli's entrance is spectacular.

LOTR Voiceover

Friday, June 20, 2008

Dream Interpretation

**UPDATE: Did you just wake up from a crazy poop dream and want to know what in the world it means? Well, you've come to the right place my friend. Read on. And be sure to share your crazy poop dream in the comments.

First, the dream:

I am at a large party in an unfamiliar house filled with a few friends, but mostly strangers. All of a sudden, I get a case of the runs and need to find a restroom. The first one I come to is occupied. Oh no.

So I start freaking out, quickly hobbling through this strange house, looking for a bathroom. I'm afraid to ask, because I'm embarrassed. Finally, I come across a strange room covered in pink carpet. Along the right hand side of the wall, is a shiny white toilet. The toilet is immaculate. Here's a crappy MSPaint, just so you can get an idea of what the room looked like:



I slam the door and plop down on the toilet. As I look in my pants, I notice that I crapped them. Then I hear the sound of a woman clearing her throat in annoyance. It's coming from around the corner, kind of behind the toilet. I glance behind me.

The room opens into a large meeting area, where a group of about twelve older women are having some kind of discussion. They all stare at me with pursed lips of disapproval.

My mind races to think of the appropriate thing to say in a situation like this. I am at a loss for words. One by one, the women file out of the room, each one glaring at me in my shame as they pass by. I mumble a few apologies, without looking up at them.

After they have left, I get another sick feeling in my stomach and feel like I'm going to puke. I open my mouth and a turd starts to slowly make its way out. I'm not sure what to do, so I just put my hands out and catch it.

Then I have to go back to the party and I'm worried about my breath smelling like crap. Then I wake up.


The Anal-ysis:

Obviously, after a dream like that, I woke up saying, "What the heck was that?!" So I did a little research. Which means, I Googled "Poop Dreams." The results were disappointing.

There are a few sites where you can just type in a word, and they'll give you a generalized interpretation. For instance, poop in your dreams may mean the following:

1) Certain aspects of your life may be dirty and negative.
2) You view something in your life as repulsive and undesirable.
3) Freud connects feces with money, possession, pride and shame (not sure how that works).

So the best I could do, is look up various things that I saw in my dream and combine them to come up with the best interpretation. Here are the words I looked up and their meaning (along with "poop" above):

Embarrassment
To dream that you are embarrassed, signifies hidden weaknesses, fears and lack of self-confidence. This dream also suggests of insecurities about your sexuality.

Woman
To see a woman in your dream, represents nurturance, passivity, caring nature, and love. It refers to your own female aspects or may also represent your mother. Alternatively, it may indicate temptation and guilt.

To see an old woman in your dream, indicates aging and growing old.

To see a group of women talking in your dream, refers to some gossip.

Toilet
To see a toilet in your dream, symbolizes a release of emotions or getting rid of something in your life that is useless. If you are cleaning the toilet, then it means that you are starting to shed your shell or lose your inhibitions.

Put that all together, and you get this interpretation of my crappy dream: I have a hidden weakness and fear of something in my life that I find repulsive and undesirable. I'm trying to get rid of it, but those who are supposed to help nurture and love me are instead growing old and gossiping.

So the question is, can dreams really help us understand something we're struggling with, or did I just have a crazy dream? I tend to lean toward the latter, but perhaps I shouldn't be so flip about my dreams. Did you know that your brain waves are more active when you dream than when you are awake? It's true!

Anyways, there's some food for thought. I really just wanted an excuse to tell about my crazy dream.

Just for fun, I decided to join a forum to see what others could come up with for my dream. If you're interested in following the discussion, here's the thread: Poop Mouth.

Props to this site for all of the dream info: Dream Moods

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Scaring Little Kids

One of the most entertaining things you can possibly do in life is to scare someone. I'm not sure exactly why this is true, but it is. I also think being scared is almost as fun.

Obviously, I'm not talking about this scenario:

"Dude, I heard your brother died. That sucks."
"What?"
"Ha-ha. Scared you."

That's called being an annoying idiot.

I'm talking about hiding in the back seat of your wife's car early in the morning before she goes to work, then jumping up and grabbing her. I don't recommend doing this, but it's a good example of the kind of scaring that we're talking about here.

Since kids are a bit more vulnerable than adults, and typically give the best reaction while being scared, I've compiled a collection of some of the best videos of kids being scared. Hope you enjoy.

Kid Sings Britney Spears
No scared kid video list would be complete without this one. It's not my favorite, but it is funny. What makes this funny is that the kid really gets into singing Britney Spears and then the way he just passes out or whatever. It's a good warm-up video:



Dad Scares Kids With Where's Waldo
I like this one because the dad set it up. It just makes me smile to see that man laughing his head off, while the child he just scared runs to him for comfort. My kids are seriously screwed.



**Quick Side Note**
Can scaring kids cause permanent damage? What kind of psychological evidence do they have on this stuff? I'm reminded of a personal story that was hilarious, but could have been traumatizing. Can't believe I forgot about this till now: Baby Anni.

These next two videos go hand-in-hand, because they epitomize the two classic responses to being scared.

How to Respond to Being Scared
I love this first video. It shows an older brother setting up his younger brother for a scare. If you have a brother, you'll love this too, cause it captures what having a brother is all about. This little brother handles being scared perfectly. He screams, then his scream smoothly transitions into hysterical laughter. Watch the whole thing to fully enjoy the brotherly love. And this kid has a perfect scream.



How Not to Respond to Being Scared
If only every person being scared could handle it so well. Alas, this next kid shows us the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm annoyed at this little guy and I don't even know him. Watch this one all the way through to witness the shame.



Texas Chainsaw Massacre Scare
This next video is a classic. It's been around for a while, but is still the best scare video out there. Everything is explained in the video, so just enjoy it.



Scare Montage
To round out my list, I'm just going to leave you with the "Scared Silly" montage. It's just a quick snippet of kids, adults, and even animals getting scared. Really, I just want you to see the last clip on this video. I LOL'd.



Bonus Scare Videos
As a bonus for reading this far, here are a couple funny scare-related videos. I saw this first one on America's Funniest Videos, then found it on Youtube. This kid's dad has to dress up and change his voice in order to get the kid to go to bed. Pretty funny. Dad scares his son to sleep:



Then of course, I had to add the hilarious "Never Scare a Black Man" videos. Again, these are self-explanatory.






If you would like to be scared yourself, take a moment to enjoy one of this blog's more popular posts: The Scariest Things on the Internet

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Prince Caspian



If I had to describe my reaction to this movie in one word, it would be: Disappointed.

There's plenty to like about the movie and it is entertaining, but I just was not impressed. I imagine that if I weren't such a big fan of the book and didn't have such high expectations, then maybe I would have enjoyed it more. But as it stands, I really was just disappointed. (SPOILERS to follow, do not read ahead if you haven't seen the movie)

The first thing that seemed obvious to me was that these kids aren't very good actors. To be fair, I think it was probably poorly written dialogue rather than bad acting, but it felt forced and unbelievable. However, I could have lived with sub-par acting. After all, Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe didn't have spectacular acting, and I liked that one. It's not like you go see this movie for a chance to watch Oscar talent on the big screen.

I think the most disappointing thing for me was in the way the movie separated itself from the book. Characters and their relationships were changed (for the WORSE), and for no apparent reason (except maybe to add unnecessary drama).

I guess I'll just make a list of the things that pretty much ruined the movie for me. In order, here they are:


5) Doctor Cornelius. The doctor's role is greatly diminished, which was a huge disappointment to me, because he's such a great character. They literally could have just taken him out of this movie and it wouldn't have changed much. That's just poo, cause he's awesome in the book.


4) Battle of Beruna. I liked this battle scene the first ten times I saw it. How many times do we have to see large catapulting contraptions demolishing the undermanned hero? I admit that I liked the sinking earth trap, although it's a pretty ridiculous idea that would never really work.

The fighting trees were stupid too. Ents have been done before. They're supposed to be the nymphs and dryads who are more like giants with leafy arms. Why change this to something we've seen before? I didn't like the river god either, but at least the rushing water didn't turn into horses. And I was really hoping to see Bacchus make an appearance in this movie (he's actually the one who frees the river god). Another good scene wasted.


3) The Castle Siege. I admit that this was a good action scene, for the most part. But I don't understand how it helped develop the (original) story in the least. Sure, it helped to ruin Caspian's character, by pitting him against King Peter (which never happens in the book).

And I can guarantee you that if an army of minotaurs and centaurs came storming in, the people would die of fright. In the book, there is a real sense that the Telmarines FEAR Old Narnia. They had no idea that these creatures still existed. Every soldier would have peed his pants and dropped his sword. This scene just should not have been thrown in. It doesn't make sense and adds nothing to the story (at least as the story was originally written).


2) Reepicheep. Reepicheep is by far one of the most popular characters in all of Narnia. This movie did a terrible job of developing who he is. He was turned into some sort of caricature of himself. The scene at the end where he loses his tail is one of the best scenes in the book, but it was almost an afterthought in the movie. I bet if I hadn't read the book, the significance of that moment would be totally lost. Such a shame.

I hated that they threw in the "You're a mouse!" bit before he killed someone with one swipe to the nose. There are freaking griffins and goat-men running around, and you're going to be surprised at a mouse? And it was retarded having him single-handedly taking down grown men. That never happens in the book, and was just a joke in the movie.

And please tell me why they added the scene with the cat being tied up in the castle? AAAAAHHH! So stupid! "Ooh, look, it's the mouse's natural enemy: the castle cat. Come on guys, there's always enough time for a chivalrous mouse to find some rope somewhere and tie up a sleeping cat." Ugh.


1) Prince Caspian. I can't believe how much they botched up the title character. Mostly, it was because of his relationships with the other characters.

Let's start with Caspian and Miraz. So Caspian learns that Miraz killed his father, and runs through the castle (a-la Inigo Montoya), so he can avenge his father. In the book, he never seeks this vengeance (it doesn't fit his character). Rather surprisingly, he cannot bring himself kill good ol' Uncle Miraz. Shocker. That first scene was so dramatic, we get to see it again at the end of the movie. I really thought he was going to kill him that time, though.

Then there's Caspian and the Old Narnians. In the book, he's already gained their favor and is leading their army against King Miraz. He makes decisions and has character and leadership. It's only after their army is outmatched and as a last resort that he blows Susan's horn, and then the help comes. In the movie, there's none of that. Help comes almost by accident (because he doesn't even know what the horn is), and because he fell off his horse (being chased by Telmarines who somehow found the courage to follow him into a forest that is known to be haunted and hasn't been entered for centuries).

Then we have Caspian and King Peter. Darn that know-it-all King Peter, with his hair brained raid schemes. I have no idea why they felt the need to have some kind of bitter rivalry between these two kings. From what I remember, this isn't the case in the book and definitely not to the extent it was portrayed in this movie. That was almost as ridiculous as...

Caspian and Queen Susan. Seriously? I mean, seriously? Somebody explain this to me. If everything else in the movie was exactly like the book and was made perfectly, this would still have ruined it for me. So fake, so unbelievable, so unnecessary. Complete with the terrible "let's make money off of the music industry as well with our top 20 love ballad" at the end. I just laughed my way through every one of these "love" scenes. I don't see how anyone could have enjoyed the movie while having to endure this ridiculous addition. Stupidest. Decision. Ever.



This post turned out way longer than I expected. I could keep going, but I guess the point is, I just didn't see the need or the purpose of going so far away from the context of the book. If you need filler material for the movie, you have 1500 years of undocumented history that would make for awesome back-story (like the opening scene in the first LOTR trilogy). Why not go back and show the Telmarines first coming to Narnia and sending the Narnians into hiding? There's so much there you could use, which wouldn't change the original story.

Having said all that, if you don't really care about the books and how closely the movie follows them, you'll probably like this movie. It's entertaining with decent effects and definitely worth watching. But if you're a big fan of the books and character development and solid plot lines, you're probably going to be disappointed.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Overly Excited, Hyperactive Children

You know that wonderful feeling of anticipation, when you're expecting something spectacular to happen, and you can hardly contain your emotions? Usually, the waiting and hoping is even better than what actually ends up happening. Oftentimes, you'll hear someone experiencing this emotion say, "It feels like Christmas."

Hopefully in your youth, you had a chance to want something so bad, that the mere thought of actually getting it would pretty much blow your mind. It's like the scene in A Christmas Story, when Ralphie finally gets a chance to tell Santa what he really wants for Christmas. He's so excited, that he totally freezes under the pressure and can't even speak. Then when he's halfway down the slide he freaks out and says, "No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!" Aw heck, let's just look at the video:



Look at the devastation in his face, when Santa says those ill-fated words, "You'll shoot your eye out, kid." Classic.

Well, few things are more entertaining than watching a child, who has had all that pent up emotion and anticipation, finally release it in a moment of pure ecstasy.

So without further ado, please enjoy a few of the most entertaining moments of a child's life. Some of these are quite disturbing in the fact that the kids get so excited over something so trivial. If only we could all go after our dreams with the same amount of passion.

First up is a kid who gets a Nintendo 64 for Christmas. A few things of note: I like how the little sister mimics everything the boy does. And, the best is when they start pawing at the box, like two kittens chasing a mouse on a linoleum floor?



Next is a kid who opens up a pack of Pokemon cards (I think), to find a rare Blastoise (whatever the heck that is). This reminded me of finding rare baseball cards as a child, but I don't think I ever got this excited.



Then we have the other end of the spectrum, which shows a kid who thought he was getting an XBox 360 for Christmas, but opens it up to find a box of clothes. Poor guy. His face is priceless.



This last one may not apply, but these videos never get old. This is what happens when a baby gets too excited. The last set of laughing babies is actually kind of scary.



If you find that your children are way too excited and hyperactive, suggest that they do something constructive and creative with their energy. Here's a good example. The famous video of the dancing Crazy Frog Brothers.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Indianapolis Will Host Super Bowl XLVI in 2012! Why You Should Care.



If you live in Indianapolis or the surrounding area, this is a huge day for you. By now the entire city is buzzing with the news that we will finally get to host a Super Bowl. You should be excited.

After getting screwed in our bid last year (see here), the Indianapolis Bid Committee somehow put together an even better presentation this year and won the bid to host the 2012 Super Bowl. This is so awesomely exciting that I shouldn't even have to say it.

Let's take a closer look at why hosting a Super Bowl is such a huge thing for Indianapolis.

1) Colts at home in the Super Bowl?
The mere thought of maybe, possibly, seeing Peyton Manning play for a Super Bowl in... you know what? I'm not even going to say it. You folks should be excited enough.

2) Hometown Pride
So you say you could care less about football and a bunch of grown men getting paid millions to play a child's game? Well first of all, shame on you. However, if you have any sense of pride about where you come from, this is a big deal. The Super Bowl is a big deal whether you care about it or not and it will bring lots of attention (and some money) to the city. I don't care about dressing up like a Vulcan and hanging out with Storm Troopers, but I'm still proud of GenCon.

3) Economic Stimulus Package
Sure, you may read articles that say the economic benefits of hosting a Super Bowl aren't as great as many people think. Numbers get inflated and much of the money is spent hosting the event, but I guarantee you it's a better way of getting money into our local economy than say, oh I don't know... randomly handing out $600 to every citizen in the hopes that this will somehow benefit society.

4) Lasting Community Benefits
One of the best things about our bid was the proposal to build a big $9M dollar practice facility over by my old high school, Arsenal Tech. After the Super Bowl, it will be given back to the community to help the struggling east side. I have no idea how that will help, but it sure can't hurt.

5) Memories
How many memories do you have of hanging out in your hometown during a Super Bowl? You can't put a pricetag on that.

6) Justifying Lucas Oil Stadium
I don't know enough about politics and economics to know whether or not we should have built this new stadium. It's worth it to me just to make sure we'll still have the Colts around for a few more years. But at least now, I can argue that the new stadium will end up paying for itself since we're hosting a Super Bowl because of it. The LUKE!!!!


I could go on and maybe I will later. All I know is that this is an exciting day for Indianapolis. GO COLTS!!!!!

PS- Here's a few bloggers already getting excited about our Super Bowl. Let me know if you want your link added to the list.

By the Narrow Gate
The Gimcrack Miscellany
Back Home Again

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Man Goat: Searching for Bob?

All I know is, if this is for real, it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Man Goat:



Actually, if I saw that thing in real life, I would probably be freaked out. Bob!!!

Friday, May 02, 2008

RC Car + Bottles + Genius Asians + Mario Theme= Amazingly Awesome Video

Really, there's not much else I can say. I love smart people doing creative things based on the Mario Brothers. So naturally, I think this video is sheer brilliance. Happy Friday and enjoy:

Thursday, April 17, 2008

You've Been Rickroll'd

If you haven't been Rickroll'd yet, or haven't seen exactly how amazing this phenomenon has gotten, then today is your lucky day. This post is dedicated entirely to the awesomeness of Rick Astley and his now infamous video.




To begin, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you probably rarely use the interwebs. And if you do, you probably never venture outside of the same five or six websites contained within your small sphere of comfort. Get out there and live a little, man!

Luckily for you, Life in the Shadows is one of your few websites, and we're here to make sure you get caught up on all the fun stuff happening in that crazy world wide web. So, where did the Rick Roll start? I'm glad you asked.

A brief history: Rickrolling began way back when young Richard Paul Astley got sick of hearing how great the Beatles were and decided to do something about it. In 1987 he released the single, "Never Gonna Give You Up" and a legend was born. The second British invasion had arrived, but the world had no idea exactly how far this would go. (For a full history of Rick Astley click here )

Meanwhile, back in the future around April 20, 2006 a man named "4Chan" thought he was clever and decided to try something. He invented a duck on wheels and gave that duck a website. Then he got all of his Chinese friends to help him make that duck famous. They did this by tricking people. Unsuspecting web surfers would think they were about to click a link relevant to the topic at hand, but would instead be sent to the duck. Hence, duckrolling was born. (For more on 4Chan and "duckrolling" click here. Also, props to Wikipedia for this information.)



By this time, many had forgotten the awesomeness of Rick Astley, as he had decided to retire after creating a masterpiece that could never be outdone. Not surprisingly, someone came up with the brilliant idea of merging a duckroll with Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." Now we have the Rickroll, and your life will never be the same.

The Rickroll has truly become a widespread epidemic. At first it was a fun little prank between a few friends. Then on April Fool's Day of 2008, things started getting a little out of hand. Youtube linked all of their front page featured videos to the Rick Roll. Many other sites also participated in rickrolling their viewers (for a full list of sites who participated in the April 1, 2008 Rick Rolling click here)

Then came this little gem, when it was discovered that there was a long lost blooper reel from the Muppets. This video is simply amazing:



(side note: I love Beeker's moves when he says "...got to make you, understand...")

Now flashback to February 2008. Imagine you want to do a protest against a ridiculous religion. What do you think would be the best way to get your point across during your protest? That's right. A Rick Roll:



Now we're gonna flash back to the future again to March 2008. The Eastern Washington University women's basketball team is in a heated battle against... well, who cares. Suddenly a familiar tune breaks out over the loudspeakers. What's that? Oh yeah, that's right. A Rick Roll:



(DJ steals the show, imo)

In April 2008, the New York Mets had the brilliant idea of letting online voters decide which song should be played during their 8th inning sing-a-long at Shea Stadium. They also let the voters choose their own song. Gee, I wonder what could possibly happen here? Perhaps...maybe...a Rick Roll?



Rickroll Bonus: At Liverpool Street Station in London, hundreds decided to get together and perform what has been aptly dubbed the "Rickmob." Participating in a Rickmob has now joined my list of things to do before I die. Rickmob:



Obviously, Rickrolling is here to stay. If you come up with a good idea for a rickroll, be sure to videotape it and put it up on Youtube. It might make you famous. Also, if you come across any other great Rickrolls, be sure to add them to the comments here so that I can enjoy it as well.

Serious credits below:
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickroll
yougotrickrolled.com
YouTube
cnn.com

Rick Roll Chart:

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Shadow Puppets and Sand Art...What A Wonderful World

I was reading up on Caleb's Life in Oxford and he mentioned having different soundtracks for different stages of your life (read post here). It's awesome how much music can remind you of a certain time in your life and whatnot. That's not really the point of this post, although if I had the time to do it, I'm sure there's a lot of good stuff to talk about there.

Anyways, it just reminded me of a video I remember seeing with cool shadow puppets. So I thought I'd share. This video is really cool and set to a great song. I mean seriously, is there ever a situation that can't instantly be made awesome by shadow puppets? I think not. Having an arsenal of shadow puppets to whip out during parties, dates, corporate meetings, or when you're home alone and lonely is like having a never-ending flask of Sambuca for those same events. They just make everything better. But, I digress...



So then that video reminded me of another video, which uses an art form that I think is similar to shadow puppets: sand art. Check this video out, set to the same song, but using sand art. FYI, waaay too much emphasis on the guy's nipple, imo.



And then that video reminded me of one of my favorite videos of all time. I've posted on this one before (here), but it fits this post perfectly and it's worth checking out again. If shadow puppets are like a never-ending flask of Sambuca, sand art would be like being able to turn water into wine. This next video proves this.

I suggest you don't watch this video until you have a full ten minutes set aside to enjoy it. Grab yourself a nice hot cup of tea, mug of coffee, flask of Sambuca, or whatever puts you at ease. This was made during the 2003 SICAF (Seoul International Cartoon and Animation Festival). It's a sand animation of the creation story. Sit back, relax and enjoy it.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Dramatic Chipmunk and Dramatic Lemur

Surely by now you've all seen the "Dramatic Chipmunk" (or prairie dog). If for some insane reason you haven't, here's pretty much the original:

Dramatic Chipmunk


I swear it's funny every time. So then, as you no doubt know, this thing has gone viral and people have added their own spins to it. Here are a couple of my favorites:

Dr. Evil Dramatic Chipmunk


Dramatic Chipmunk CURSES!


There are hundreds of them and most are pretty funny. Well, the other day I came across another hilarious "dramatic" animal. I guess it's not all that funny, but for some reason I seriously laughed out loud in a room all by myself. That happens almost never, so I figured I should share. Be sure you have the sound up for this one. Oh man, this cracks me up.

Dramatic Lemur

Thursday, March 13, 2008

You Suck At Photoshop

Just in case you haven't watched these yet, I thought I'd share. I personally think these videos are genius, even if the subject matter is a bit tasteless. It's just a brilliant way to tell a story and I wish I'd thought of it. You can make your own decision.

There are eight total videos, but I've only posted the first five. I think these are the best. If you only watch one of them, I suggest #2. But they all tell a story together in sequential order. Enjoy!

You Suck At Photoshop #1


You Suck At Photoshop #2


You Suck At Photoshop #3


You Suck At Photoshop #4


You Suck At Photoshop #5

Monday, February 04, 2008

10 Reasons Super Bowl XLII Was the Best Super Bowl Ever



Before we begin, I have to say that this list is coming from a huge Colts fan. That should explain many of the things on this list. And now, the top ten reasons that the New York Giants 17-14 win over the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII was the best Super Bowl game ever.

10) The underdog won. Everybody loves an upset. That's why we love Braveheart. And Apple.

9) It was a great football game. Seriously, regardless of which team you were cheering for, this was an awesome game. It was close throughout, it came down to the last second, there were no terrible officiating calls, and both teams really played well.

8) Bill Belichick's red hoodie. I still don't understand why. Honestly, why?


7) The Manning sandwich. The Patriots pulled off 18 straight meaningless wins in between losing to Peyton Manning in the 2006 AFC Championship game and Eli Manning in Super Bowl XLII.

6) The 2007 Patriots are not the best team ever. Not even close. Most of us have known this all year, but now we don't even have to have this discussion. You can't even bring their names in to the conversation. Heck, the 2006 Colts are a better team, because they actually won the Super Bowl. I'm so glad we won't have to listen to all of that garbage any more. I'm especially glad, because so much of that talk happened before they even played the last game. So next time, keep your mouths shut until the season is over please.

5) Belichick's blunders. 5a: It's fourth and thirteen and you have an opportunity to kick a 49-yard field goal. The odds of hitting that field goal have to be greater than... oh I don't know, the Patriots beating the Giants by 12 points in the Super Bowl. Not sure why Belichick decided to go for it there, but I'm glad he did.

5b: Belichick solidified his position as the most classless coach in football by walking off the field before the game was over. This should surprise no one.

4) Seeing Brady on his butt. Not only did Brady spend a huge part of the game sitting on the bench, but when he did play, the Giants absolutely punished him. I've never seen Brady get pressured that much, and it was a joy to behold. This picture never gets old.



3) Seeing Tom Brady cry.



2) The greatest play in Super Bowl history.


You can't say enough about this play. I don't know how Manning was able to scramble out of that sack, then throw a perfect pass to the only spot his receiver could possibly catch it. Then David Tyree (who only had 4 catches in the regular season), pulls off the miracle. I mean, at one point he just has the ball pinned between his helmet and one hand. That's just sick. Whatever, I can't even talk about it. You all saw it. I could watch it a million times. In fact, why not enjoy it just one more time:



1) And the number one reason Super Bowl XLII was the best Super Bowl ever...18-1*. Or to put it another way, cheaters still never prosper.

Well, there you have it folks, the greatest Super Bowl ever played. To the Patriots' credit, I am glad that they didn't make any excuses after the game and admitted that they played their best and just flat out got beat.

Also, can we please see more commercials like the Chester Pitts story? That was awesome.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Drunk History

It's been a while since I did a nonsensical post for some Friday fun. So today I offer up a video that I recently viewed for the first time and found quite hilarious. It's called "Drunk History" and is exactly what it sounds like. This is the story of Alexander Hamilton's duel with Aaron Burr. As seen through the hazy lens of a drunk history buff. Enjoy.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Dungy's Return as Colts Coach Makes Him a Hypocrite?


Yesterday Tony Dungy informed us all that he will be back to coach the Colts for the 2008 season. We will have at least one more year of the dependable Dungy leading our Colts on the sideline. One more year of that stoic, steadfast voice of calm and determination. Dungy will be the one to lead us into a new era in Colts football: Lucas Oil Stadium. Everyone in Colts Nation was more than happy to hear this news.

I too was excited when I heard, and it almost made me forget about how depressed I was at the way the Colts finished this season. Then I read Bob Kravitz's article in today's IndyStar and he brought up quite an interesting topic.

The following quote is from Bob Kravitz, and it's quite a statement to make here in the heart of Colts-land:

I think that by returning to the Colts, and doing so after his entire family moved out of Indianapolis and back to Tampa, Fla., for reasons he prefers remain private, Dungy has revealed himself as something of a hypocrite.


To Kravitz's credit, he profusely denies having any right to make this claim, but makes it nonetheless. At first my mind started racing, thinking of how ridiculous Kravitz is, and how idiotic it is to call Dungy a hypocrite. I mean, we're talking Tony Dungy here. He has more integrity than the entire Patriot organization put together. How could he possibly be a hypocrite?

Well, Kravitz goes on to describe how Dungy has been such an advocate of putting family and faith above career goals. So at second glance, it does seem a bit contradictory to preach putting your family first, when you've agreed to live hundreds of miles away from your family, just to coach at least one more year of football.

Now Kravitz also says, and I wholeheartedly agree, that this was a personal decision that was made with the approval of his family and really, it's not our business to question what they've decided to do. We don't know all the circumstances, and maybe Dungy will be flying home every night at the expense of Mr. Irsay. But I can see where this might be a bit detrimental to his image as a "family-first" kind of a guy.

Personally, I have to believe Dungy has put his family first and always will. I just don't think he's the kind of person who would make this choice if he thought it was in any way compromising his relationship with his family. But I also think it is a bad example he is setting for those who have looked up to him as a man who can be so successful at his career and yet not short-change his family life.

He may very well be putting his family first while coaching from a different state, it's just that he may be the only man on the planet who can do it this way. Now many men (especially football players) may look at this and think, "Well, if Dungy can do it, I can too." The problem is that they probably can't.

Anyways, I just thought it was an interesting point to make, and I wonder how much of an effect this might have on his coaching. At face value, it sure seems that if his family is really moving to Tampa, then he has made a definite choice of career over family. It's just hard to see it any other way. And that just seems so contradictory to what Dungy stands for. And that makes me wonder if he'll be any different of a coach next year, if he doesn't have his family to go home to at night. I don't know. Like Kravitz said, "I am uncomfortable."

Then again, we're talking about Tony Dungy. I mean, come on. At any rate, GO COLTS!

Friday, January 11, 2008

The 2007 NFL Playoffs: Some Final Thoughts (and more reasons we hate the Patriots)

Well, the playoffs are underway and I haven't said much about the Colts in a while.

This weekend we play San Diego. The scary thing here is that if we're being honest, we actually expect the Colts to win this game. Remember how in last year's playoffs we kept waiting for the defense to screw it up for us? Now we actually expect to win. That means if we lose, I'll be extra upset dangit.

The other scary thing is looking at this bit of history:

2004- Pittsburgh goes 15-1, gets the #1 seed and loses in the AFC Championship game to New England (who goes on to win Super Bowl).

2005- Indianapolis goes 13-0, finishes 14-2, gets the #1 seed and loses in the Divisional round to Pittsburgh (who goes on to win Super Bowl). Pittsburgh had a bit of a letdown year after their 15-1 season, but finished strong to win everything.

2006- San Diego goes 14-2, dominating everyone throughout the year and clinching the #1 seed. They lose to New England, who goes on to get their posteriors handed to them in the AFC Championship game after blowing a 21-6 halftime lead to the Colts. The Colts had a bit of a letdown year after their 14-2 season, but turn it up in the playoffs and go on to win the Super Bowl (GO HORSE!).

So if history were to repeat itself, we would see San Diego beat the Colts, then go into New England and beat the hottest team of the year and win their Super Bowl. Then New England would come back next year and beat whoever the hottest team next year is, and so on.

Unfortunately (for Chargers fans), I seriously doubt that will happen. Maybe next year.

As far as the Jacksonville vs. New England game, I think I really do want the Patriots to win. I know, that probably sounds retarded and I need to be careful what I wish for and all that garbage, but seriously, who wants to see San Diego (or Colts) vs. Jacksonville in the AFC Championship Game? Not me. As much as I hate New England, I love the rivalry and even if we lose, it just adds to the fun of it all (in the future). So, hopefully New England wins, but I would not be the least bit surprised if Jacksonville pulls off an upset.

I realize I haven't mentioned the NFC teams at all. That's because nobody cares. Except for Brett Favre. Hopefully Green Bay makes it to the Super Bowl.

Now, I have a bit to say about this 2007 New England Patriot team. First of all, I hate you. I hate that Tom Brady broke Peyton's record and that the team went 16-0. Man, I really hate that. I hate that they're a part of "history," albeit with an asterisk. I hate that the rest of their sorry division went a combined 12-36. I hate that they beat the Colts this year. And I hate that they cheat. And I really hate that Belichick was named "Coach of the Year" (add another asterisk).

Riddle me this. How can you possibly name a man guilty of violating NFL rules the coach of the year? Seriously! How? It boggles the mind! That literally disgusts me. What kind of freaking message are you sending to young fans (or anyone for that matter)? This man was caught cheating. This year. How can you possibly name him coach of the year? That would be like if soMeonE weRe a linebackeR usIng steriods and that Man were nAmed defeNsive player of the year. Oh...wait.

The only consolation is that this award is handed out by 50 media members. 35 of which live in the New England area. 29 of which voted for Belichick. So, who cares.

So to sum up the season: Great year for the Colts, Patriots are lucky cheaters and we all hate them. Brett Favre rules.