Friday, June 20, 2008

Dream Interpretation

**UPDATE: Did you just wake up from a crazy poop dream and want to know what in the world it means? Well, you've come to the right place my friend. Read on. And be sure to share your crazy poop dream in the comments.

First, the dream:

I am at a large party in an unfamiliar house filled with a few friends, but mostly strangers. All of a sudden, I get a case of the runs and need to find a restroom. The first one I come to is occupied. Oh no.

So I start freaking out, quickly hobbling through this strange house, looking for a bathroom. I'm afraid to ask, because I'm embarrassed. Finally, I come across a strange room covered in pink carpet. Along the right hand side of the wall, is a shiny white toilet. The toilet is immaculate. Here's a crappy MSPaint, just so you can get an idea of what the room looked like:

I slam the door and plop down on the toilet. As I look in my pants, I notice that I crapped them. Then I hear the sound of a woman clearing her throat in annoyance. It's coming from around the corner, kind of behind the toilet. I glance behind me.

The room opens into a large meeting area, where a group of about twelve older women are having some kind of discussion. They all stare at me with pursed lips of disapproval.

My mind races to think of the appropriate thing to say in a situation like this. I am at a loss for words. One by one, the women file out of the room, each one glaring at me in my shame as they pass by. I mumble a few apologies, without looking up at them.

After they have left, I get another sick feeling in my stomach and feel like I'm going to puke. I open my mouth and a turd starts to slowly make its way out. I'm not sure what to do, so I just put my hands out and catch it.

Then I have to go back to the party and I'm worried about my breath smelling like crap. Then I wake up.

The Anal-ysis:

Obviously, after a dream like that, I woke up saying, "What the heck was that?!" So I did a little research. Which means, I Googled "Poop Dreams." The results were disappointing.

There are a few sites where you can just type in a word, and they'll give you a generalized interpretation. For instance, poop in your dreams may mean the following:

1) Certain aspects of your life may be dirty and negative.
2) You view something in your life as repulsive and undesirable.
3) Freud connects feces with money, possession, pride and shame (not sure how that works).

So the best I could do, is look up various things that I saw in my dream and combine them to come up with the best interpretation. Here are the words I looked up and their meaning (along with "poop" above):

To dream that you are embarrassed, signifies hidden weaknesses, fears and lack of self-confidence. This dream also suggests of insecurities about your sexuality.

To see a woman in your dream, represents nurturance, passivity, caring nature, and love. It refers to your own female aspects or may also represent your mother. Alternatively, it may indicate temptation and guilt.

To see an old woman in your dream, indicates aging and growing old.

To see a group of women talking in your dream, refers to some gossip.

To see a toilet in your dream, symbolizes a release of emotions or getting rid of something in your life that is useless. If you are cleaning the toilet, then it means that you are starting to shed your shell or lose your inhibitions.

Put that all together, and you get this interpretation of my crappy dream: I have a hidden weakness and fear of something in my life that I find repulsive and undesirable. I'm trying to get rid of it, but those who are supposed to help nurture and love me are instead growing old and gossiping.

So the question is, can dreams really help us understand something we're struggling with, or did I just have a crazy dream? I tend to lean toward the latter, but perhaps I shouldn't be so flip about my dreams. Did you know that your brain waves are more active when you dream than when you are awake? It's true!

Anyways, there's some food for thought. I really just wanted an excuse to tell about my crazy dream.

Just for fun, I decided to join a forum to see what others could come up with for my dream. If you're interested in following the discussion, here's the thread: Poop Mouth.

Props to this site for all of the dream info: Dream Moods

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Scaring Little Kids

One of the most entertaining things you can possibly do in life is to scare someone. I'm not sure exactly why this is true, but it is. I also think being scared is almost as fun.

Obviously, I'm not talking about this scenario:

"Dude, I heard your brother died. That sucks."
"Ha-ha. Scared you."

That's called being an annoying idiot.

I'm talking about hiding in the back seat of your wife's car early in the morning before she goes to work, then jumping up and grabbing her. I don't recommend doing this, but it's a good example of the kind of scaring that we're talking about here.

Since kids are a bit more vulnerable than adults, and typically give the best reaction while being scared, I've compiled a collection of some of the best videos of kids being scared. Hope you enjoy.

Kid Sings Britney Spears
No scared kid video list would be complete without this one. It's not my favorite, but it is funny. What makes this funny is that the kid really gets into singing Britney Spears and then the way he just passes out or whatever. It's a good warm-up video:

Dad Scares Kids With Where's Waldo
I like this one because the dad set it up. It just makes me smile to see that man laughing his head off, while the child he just scared runs to him for comfort. My kids are seriously screwed.

**Quick Side Note**
Can scaring kids cause permanent damage? What kind of psychological evidence do they have on this stuff? I'm reminded of a personal story that was hilarious, but could have been traumatizing. Can't believe I forgot about this till now: Baby Anni.

These next two videos go hand-in-hand, because they epitomize the two classic responses to being scared.

How to Respond to Being Scared
I love this first video. It shows an older brother setting up his younger brother for a scare. If you have a brother, you'll love this too, cause it captures what having a brother is all about. This little brother handles being scared perfectly. He screams, then his scream smoothly transitions into hysterical laughter. Watch the whole thing to fully enjoy the brotherly love. And this kid has a perfect scream.

How Not to Respond to Being Scared
If only every person being scared could handle it so well. Alas, this next kid shows us the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm annoyed at this little guy and I don't even know him. Watch this one all the way through to witness the shame.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Scare
This next video is a classic. It's been around for a while, but is still the best scare video out there. Everything is explained in the video, so just enjoy it.

Scare Montage
To round out my list, I'm just going to leave you with the "Scared Silly" montage. It's just a quick snippet of kids, adults, and even animals getting scared. Really, I just want you to see the last clip on this video. I LOL'd.

Bonus Scare Videos
As a bonus for reading this far, here are a couple funny scare-related videos. I saw this first one on America's Funniest Videos, then found it on Youtube. This kid's dad has to dress up and change his voice in order to get the kid to go to bed. Pretty funny. Dad scares his son to sleep:

Then of course, I had to add the hilarious "Never Scare a Black Man" videos. Again, these are self-explanatory.

If you would like to be scared yourself, take a moment to enjoy one of this blog's more popular posts: The Scariest Things on the Internet