Yesterday I was reading Indystar and saw that Britney Spears and K-Fed are ending their marriage. Today it says that Reece Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe are getting divorced. I thought about doing a post about divorce or celebrities or something, but I don't like talking about things I know nothing about. Actually, that's not true, or this blog would be a huge blank page.
At any rate, I realized that yesterday is my ten month wedding anniversary. So I decided instead to let the bachelors out there know what to expect from marriage, good and bad, when and if they decide to get married.
1) Marriage is awesome! Regardless of anything else I write or anyone tells you, marriage is one of the best things you will ever do.
2) Marriage will change your life. This is a good thing, but most of us avoid change like the plague, so this part may be difficult for some.
3) Marriage is work. As are most things worth anything. Don't get confused here. Marriage isn't supposed to be easy. Don't say, "This is hard, therefore I must have married the wrong person, therefore I will get a divorce and find the person who makes my life easier." That's just stupid and if you take the time to think about it, you'll see why.
4) Marriage is different for everybody. Just like you are different from everybody else, your marriage will be too. That means, just because you don't have the same income/children/kids/debt/house/car/etc., doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It also means you don't have to listen to anybody else's advice, because it probably won't work the same for you as it did for them. This includes me, so feel free to stop reading at this point.
5) Friends are important. Be sure to make time to hang out with your friends. But realize that friends are not most important, and these relationships will definitely not be the same as they used to be. This is probably a good thing. You also probably shouldn't do some of the things that your bachelor friends are still doing.
6) Family is important too. But your wife comes first. Always.
7) You're no longer allowed to talk to other people about what is wrong with your wife. If you're in the habit of talking to other people about what's wrong with your girlfriend, stop now. This doesn't mean you can't joke about the time she tried to hammer a screw into your plaster wall. It does mean you can't talk about the last argument you had. That's between you and her and unless she pulled out a gun and threatened to kill you, there's really no reason to discuss it with others.
8) Never discuss your sex life with anyone else. Nobody wants to hear about it anyways, and if they do, you should really question why they do. It's not their business. Never will be. If it is, you probably shouldn't be getting married.
9) Money is going to be an issue. I don't care how much of it you have. "An issue" doesn't mean it's a bad thing, it just means you're going to have to find out what works for the two of you.
10) Sleeping is great. A good friend of mine was once asked what the best thing about being married was. He said, "Not having to say goodbye at the end of the day." I concur. If you're already sleeping with your girlfriend, you're really taking away from your marriage. Of course, I have no idea if that is true, but I imagine it is. Because this is one of the best things about marriage, and if you're already doing it, that makes one less special thing for your marriage. Let's not even get into sex before marriage.
11) A church life seems mandatory. I'm sure people can make marriage work without church. I just don't know where I would be without mine. You don't have to go to my church (although I do think it's the best), but I think it's very important to have some type of religious foundation. Anything is better than nothing. Marriage is a sacrament of the church, so getting married without church is like getting circumsised because it feels good. Or wiping before you poop. It just don't make sense. Unless you're getting married for the tax benefits. Then I suppose as long as you both understand that's the reason for the marriage, you'll be okay.
12) It's more fun when you're not alone. I really have a lot of fun with my wife. We play lots of games and laugh a lot. I used to enjoy having lots of time to myself. I still do, but it's more fun having someone else around all the time.
Okay, that's all I have in me for now. I'm sure I could go on all day, but I'm not going to. Feel free to add to this list, or comment on what I've written. Remember, it's your life and only you know what's best. If you disagree with me, just give it time, you'll realize I'm always right. My wife has.
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