A Gay Man Should Not Have This Job

As many of my readers know, I like to listen to books on tape while drving to and from work. Currently, I am listening to The Aeneid by Virgil. It is the story of the fall of Troy and the ancestry of the Romans and blah, blah, blah who cares?

Well, I have recently come to understand something about myself. Whether or not a person annoys me can be directly linked to the sound of their voice (for more info, read this).

Now, one would think (or at least I would think) that if you're going to make a book on tape, you would want a voice that best fits the genre or style of the book. For instance: The Bible would be read by Charlton Heston, Little Women would be read by Angela Lansbury, and If I Did It would be read by a sick bastard.

Unfortunately, Blackstone Audio Books chose Frederick Davidson to read The Aeneid. I know nothing about Frederick Davidson except for the fact that he is fffffffffflaming. The problem here isn't that he is gay, because he may not be. It's that he talks in that dialect which doubles the use of the letter "s" in every word. For example:

Waiter: "Good evening gentlemen. Would you like to try the soup or salad?"
Gay Man: "Yesssss Pleaaassssse! I would love a Sssssuper Sssalad!"

Davidson has also added his own twist to this speech, where he throws a "z" in between a mess of esses. As in, "Whimsszssical."

I normally wouldn't have much of a problem with this, except that he is reading a book that is totally unfit for such language. Imagine Braveheart, with Hugh Grant playing the part of William Wallace. It would totally ruin the effect. That's what this book is like now.