Thursday, November 04, 2004

Toilet Humor

I can remember at a very young age looking forward to reading clever anecdotes on the sides of the walls in bathroom stalls. Whenever we would take road trips, I would prefer to use stalls over urinals for three reasons:
1) The ability to flush without using my hands.
2) Less hairs and cigarette butts in the toilet.
3) Reading the clever anecdotes.

As a matter of fact, to this day I prefer stalls for the same reasons.

Now, like most things in a bathroom, you have to make your way through a lot of useless crap: All of the "Steve T. was here-12/25/04" and "For a good time, call Andrew Walker" or just the random "F yous" and other curse words. But for the determined stall seeker, if you look hard enough, you can find some real diamonds in the rough. Or "jewels in the turd" as a wise man once said.

Here are some of my personal favorites. Please leave a few of your own. Perhaps I'll make a top ten if I get enough responses.

1) Here I sit, all broken hearted. Tried to poop, but only farted.
2) (Placed on wall behind toilet) If you can read this sign, you should be using the urinal.
3) Here I sit in misty vapor, searching for some toilet paper. How much longer must I linger, before I have to use my finger.
4) I aim to please; you aim too please.
5) What are you looking on the wall for? The joke's in your hands.


Mellie Helen said...

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie."

Anonymous said...

personally i'm a fan of the self-affermation graffiti.

"you are beautiful, don't ever forget it"

stuff like that.

always makes me giggle.

mainja (i can't seem to log in to comment for some reason...)

Brian said...

"Some come here to sit and think...
But most come here to shit and stink!"