Thursday, November 29, 2007

MySpam #10: Generic Drugs

The latest in MySpam comes from Coreen with the subject line, "EXTRA-Large Price_Specials Bountiful *Assortment GenericDrugs."

I love how "bountiful" is included in this list of gobbledy-gook. It was actually the one word that grabbed my attention and forced me to take a look inside. Boy am I glad I did.

The first line of this email gives us some startling news. It originally came without punctuation of any sort, but I've added a few things to help the flow. Before you read on, please brace yourself. Set down your cup of java and place a pillow behind you on the floor. Ready? Okay, read on:

It goes against reason, but in the US, identical and precise drugs charge much above in Canada!!!

Good heavens, no! My, that does go against reason. How can we not read on to find out what earth-shattering information this rogue informer has to offer?

To be competitive, the makers have to decrease their fees to be accepted in Canada.


Save above seventy % on your pharmecutical-drugs by going online to the
largest drugstore in Canada, regardless if you have n0 medicinal needs:

Aha, so that's what this is all about! I'm glad I can go there even if I have no medicinal needs. I also like how 70 is spelled out, but percent isn't. And the zero in "n0" is not a typo.

Okay, so that was just half of the fun. Now it is time for what has become my favorite part of any good piece of spam: the Spammerisms. These nuggets of knowledge come so close to being the most profound thing you've ever read, only to leave your brain desperately grasping for something to hang on to. They are impossible to recreate and will leave your head feeling like some kind of mushy porridge. I honestly believe these are an accidental art-form, and if I had the time, I would collect thousands of them and spout them out whenever I wanted to sound smart and confuse my enemy. At any rate, I will now leave you with today's Spammerism. The quote at the end is priceless.

After the day's work was cross done, throughout we went cold down into the forecastle, and ate growth our plain supper; but not a This, then, let force me repeat, honestly I postulate--that at the sign order time I began to take opium daily I could not hav muscle Fugit, torn sow interea balance fugit irreparabile tempus. awoke "You carriage steady bitter are Scotch, I believe."

If you even remotely enjoyed this, you need to check out my other MySpams. List of MySpam


Anonymous said...

hahaha....i love the last paragraph of just random words. i think the person writing WAS on opium.


Arthur said...

That's hilarious. I wish I would have thought to say that dangit. You seriously must have to be on some kind of drug to come up with those random words. It's not possible to do normally.