Monday, January 24, 2005

Skiing, Falling, Screaming, and "Wipples"

This weekend, we had our annual ski trip to Perfect North Slopes, aka "PNS" (don't say that five times fast. Okay, do. Haha, I'm in fifth grade again. Wanna join the Pen 15 club?). We had an awesome time, and although we probably deserved it, nobody broke any bones. There were times when it would snow really hard, and the wind would almost blow it straight up from the ground. It was truly beautiful. Ice had frozen thick on the sides of some of the trees, and I thought for sure that they would snap and fall on the lift cables. Good thing that never happened either.

One time on the lift, we saw this guy take a really hard fall. He was on a steep hill and couldn't stop sliding all the way down. The best part was that he was screaming bloody murder the whole way. It was hilarious. He was sliding in slow motion, and could have easily stopped himself, but he just kept screaming like he was about to die. We were cracking up. We decided that skiing would be a lot more entertaining if everyone screamed like that when they fell, instead of trying to play it off. Then this morning on my way to work, I saw a business-lady trip on her own two feet. I thought how much more interesting life would be if we all had to scream like that whenever we tripped or anything. It would be a lot funnier for the people who witness it, and might even make it less embarassing. So the next time you trip or fall or anything, just scream like your life depended on it. It'll make for a memorable day.

Anyways, one of the highlights on the trip came when we were driving home. We decided to stop at a random southern Indiana town to find a beer and burger joint. We chose the small town of Sunman, just off of I-74. I started having flashbacks of every horror movie I've seen where the young college kids wander into some small hick-town, with residents who all hold the secret of some freak family that likes to dismember strangers who come wandering in for beer and burgers.

The first place we saw was Wheel's Pizza. We weren't in the mood for pizza, but thought they might be able to direct us to the nearest burger joint (with beer). So after doing a half-donut in their parking lot, so that everyone stares out the window and the owner calls the local deputy, AJ went in to ask directions. He said that after asking them where he should go, some lady in the back of the restaurant had one word for him: "Wipples." "Wipples?" he asked. "Yeah, you want to go to Wipples." Okay.

So we got directions for Wipples and headed into town. Sunman actually seemed like a nice quaint little town, with a small but cozy downtown area, complete with bars and grills and Wipples. We found Wipples without any trouble, and decided to venture in. Unfortunately, nothing exciting happened and we weren't chased by chainsaw-wielding maniacs, which would've made for an incredible blog-post. Instead we found that they had already sent the cook home, so we couldn't get any burgers. They recommended that we try going across the street to "Tha Store Cafe."

"Tha Store Cafe" (and no, that's not a typo) is home to "Louie's Place: Bar and Grill." At last we had found what we were looking for. We sat amongst the heart and soul of America's Midwest: drunks, tramps, waiters, veterans, and bartenders. They served us the best bowl of slaw I've ever eaten. My burger and fries were also delicious, and the ambience was not lacking either. We drank pitchers of beer and smoked old Swishers while heart-pounding Rock and soul-piercing Country blazed out of the jukebox right behind us. We were surrounded by cigarette smoke, bourbon, and a big black tube of "Ass-Lube." It's best not to ask about that one.

It was a great trip, and hopefully we can make it an anal...excuse me, annual tradition. For the few of you who read this, I have a question for you: What do you think "Wipples" stands for? We asked ourselves this question, and I forget what all we came up with. Now I'm thinking maybe it's a new Muppet character or something. What do you think?

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