I recently received this email in my inbox: "Plug For Your Site: I linked to your site this morning. Interesting stuff. -Mike" I was excited to find that there was someone out there who liked my writing, or at least found it "interesting," and was willing to tell others about it. Alas, it was too good to be true.
When I checked out the link he provided, here is the page I came to. He was plugging a post of mine where I talk about naming my mother's miscarried sons.
Apparently my post takes the theme of Roe vs. Wade "one step further." Uh..nope. Not only that, but the post was about "naming her miscarried unborn children." "Her" being me. Uh, I'm a dude. If Mike would've taken the time to read all the way through the second sentence of that post, he might not have made this mistake.
Although I appreciate anyone willing to plug this site, I would appreciate it more if you plugged it because you enjoy reading what's here. Not as a way of getting more people to your site. I probably wouldn't have cared so much, except this particular post was the only serious one I've written in this whole blog. And it wasn't very "interesting" compared to the others. In the future, please take the time to read what's here. It is interesting.
If you would like to link to this blog, let me know and I'll return the favor. Here's Mike's Blog.
[Mike has profusely and completely apologized for the minor mix up. Sorry, I didn't see your corrections before publishing this post. Ah well. And you all really should check out his blog. I just took the time to view some other posts there, and it's worthwhile stuff.]
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Crazy News
There are some crazy things happening in the world today. I don't feel like writing much, so here's some of the crazier things I read about in today's paper:
1)Grandpa's Ghost goes for $65,000 on Ebay.
???? Now that's crazy. I guess they sold Grandpa's walking stick, along with his "ghost." Reminds me of that Simpsons where Bart sells his soul. I wonder if I could sell my Grandpa's haunted dentures. What would you sell?
2)Sacred Sandwich goes on tour.
If you didn't already hear, a grilled cheese sandwich, apparently resembling the Virgin Mary, was bought on Ebay for $28,000. Well, now it's going on tour. See if it's coming to a town near you. Looks more like a cowering orphan to me.
3)Mexican Madonna saves woman?
Okay, I've heard of this happening before, but it's crazy: "A woman survived a crash that drove a 12-foot metal rod through her mouth and out the back of her head..." I just can't imagine.
1)Grandpa's Ghost goes for $65,000 on Ebay.
???? Now that's crazy. I guess they sold Grandpa's walking stick, along with his "ghost." Reminds me of that Simpsons where Bart sells his soul. I wonder if I could sell my Grandpa's haunted dentures. What would you sell?
2)Sacred Sandwich goes on tour.
If you didn't already hear, a grilled cheese sandwich, apparently resembling the Virgin Mary, was bought on Ebay for $28,000. Well, now it's going on tour. See if it's coming to a town near you. Looks more like a cowering orphan to me.
3)Mexican Madonna saves woman?
Okay, I've heard of this happening before, but it's crazy: "A woman survived a crash that drove a 12-foot metal rod through her mouth and out the back of her head..." I just can't imagine.
Friday, December 03, 2004
"It's like wiping before you poop...It don't make no sense."
(Title quote from Larry the Cable Guy)
Once again I will tell a disturbing tale from a day in my life. Warning: The following topic may disgust some people.
I was with a few friends in college, and we got to talking (always a dangerous thing) about dumping. Well one of my friends, for whatever reason (I can't remember now), gave us a visual aid of how he wipes after he poops. He pretended to tear off a reasonable amount of toilet paper, then proceeded to stick his hand between his legs and wipe.
There was an awkward silence as a few of us tried to figure out what technique we had just witnessed. My friend started to go on with whatever story he was telling, and we were like, "Wait. Wait. Just wait a second now. How do you wipe?" He repeated his between-the-legs method, and I was shocked.
I had always assumed that all men wiped the same way: leaning to the side, and wiping from South to North. I tend to lean to the left, and wipe with the right hand. I'm not sure if that's universal, or if lefties do it differently. I had no idea that there were multiple methods.
Well, needless to say, we all started making fun of him right away. He tried to defend his method, but it just doesn't hold water. The main flaw in this method, for me, is that guys are blessed with "under clunder." It seems that "under clunder" would interfere with a clean wipe, and could get things messy. Also, I would think the hand may graze up against the rim of the bowl, which is to be avoided at all costs.
Anyways, so the whole event got me wondering if there are more methods. Another roommate of mine later said that he likes to wet some toilet paper to finish the job more thoroughly. At the risk of losing whatever integrity this blog may have had, I'm going to ask if anyone knows any other methods. What is your preferred method? Be creative, and have fun!
-Check out how this chick uses her toilet paper-
Once again I will tell a disturbing tale from a day in my life. Warning: The following topic may disgust some people.
I was with a few friends in college, and we got to talking (always a dangerous thing) about dumping. Well one of my friends, for whatever reason (I can't remember now), gave us a visual aid of how he wipes after he poops. He pretended to tear off a reasonable amount of toilet paper, then proceeded to stick his hand between his legs and wipe.
There was an awkward silence as a few of us tried to figure out what technique we had just witnessed. My friend started to go on with whatever story he was telling, and we were like, "Wait. Wait. Just wait a second now. How do you wipe?" He repeated his between-the-legs method, and I was shocked.
I had always assumed that all men wiped the same way: leaning to the side, and wiping from South to North. I tend to lean to the left, and wipe with the right hand. I'm not sure if that's universal, or if lefties do it differently. I had no idea that there were multiple methods.
Well, needless to say, we all started making fun of him right away. He tried to defend his method, but it just doesn't hold water. The main flaw in this method, for me, is that guys are blessed with "under clunder." It seems that "under clunder" would interfere with a clean wipe, and could get things messy. Also, I would think the hand may graze up against the rim of the bowl, which is to be avoided at all costs.
Anyways, so the whole event got me wondering if there are more methods. Another roommate of mine later said that he likes to wet some toilet paper to finish the job more thoroughly. At the risk of losing whatever integrity this blog may have had, I'm going to ask if anyone knows any other methods. What is your preferred method? Be creative, and have fun!
-Check out how this chick uses her toilet paper-
Say it Ain't So!
Well, what most of us already knew to be true is finally being released as fact: Major League Baseball, sponsored by BALCO, finally has to address the use of steroids by it's very own sluggers. But major league baseball is to blame. No drug policy until last year? 
Come on. The whole thing is pathetic, and it sucks that records are being broken by these juicers. Jack McDowell thinks these players should be banned, comparing what they've done to what Pete Rose did. I tend to agree with him. Anyways, I'm through talking about it. Here are some links if you want to learn more.
A Dark Time
Bonds Didn't Know?
Tainted Career
Fool's Gold: Marion Jones
Come on. The whole thing is pathetic, and it sucks that records are being broken by these juicers. Jack McDowell thinks these players should be banned, comparing what they've done to what Pete Rose did. I tend to agree with him. Anyways, I'm through talking about it. Here are some links if you want to learn more.
A Dark Time
Bonds Didn't Know?
Tainted Career
Fool's Gold: Marion Jones
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Damn the Snooze Bar!
Okay, who invented the dang snooze bar on an alarm? Seriously. That has to be the worst invention. For the third day in a row now, I've snooze barred my way into a hectic morning where I am rushing to be on time for work. I know it's my own dang fault, but I shouldn't even have that option.
So, who's the idiot who decided it was a good idea to add a snooze bar? Alarm clocks are one of the only things we buy that forces us to do something we don't really want to do. The whole purpose of an alarm clock is to wake you up! Why have an option that negates that purpose? It's bad enough that I set the clock 30 minutes early, in order to "trick" myself into being on time (come on, I know you do it too), only to wake up and say, "Oh, I've got thirty more minutes, cause I set the clock wrong."
The problem with the snooze bar is that it asks you whether or not you want five more minutes of sleep, while you're still sleeping. That's like asking an alcoholic if he wants one more drink, while he's in the middle of an all-night binge. Of course he'll say yes.
Honestly, who's going to say "no" to five more minutes, when you've just been torn from a nice slumber? If my dad were to have woken me up by saying, "Son, it's time to get up. But if you want five more minutes, just smack me upside the head and I'll come back later and repeat the process." He would've needed a medic every morning.
Does the clock think I accidentally set the wrong time on the alarm? I mean, I spent ten minutes trying to figure out how to set it right, of course that's when I want to wake up. But it takes two seconds to slap that button and just keep dreaming. They should make snooze bars just as difficult to set. By the time you figured out what you were doing, you'd be conscious and awake.
Isn't it true though, that those five minutes are worth more than a whole night's sleep combined? It's like the entire night is a warm-up for the real sleep that comes after you hit the snooze bar.
Anyways, if anyone finds out who invented it, let me know. And out of curiosity, how many other people set their clocks fast on purpose?
So, who's the idiot who decided it was a good idea to add a snooze bar? Alarm clocks are one of the only things we buy that forces us to do something we don't really want to do. The whole purpose of an alarm clock is to wake you up! Why have an option that negates that purpose? It's bad enough that I set the clock 30 minutes early, in order to "trick" myself into being on time (come on, I know you do it too), only to wake up and say, "Oh, I've got thirty more minutes, cause I set the clock wrong."
The problem with the snooze bar is that it asks you whether or not you want five more minutes of sleep, while you're still sleeping. That's like asking an alcoholic if he wants one more drink, while he's in the middle of an all-night binge. Of course he'll say yes.
Honestly, who's going to say "no" to five more minutes, when you've just been torn from a nice slumber? If my dad were to have woken me up by saying, "Son, it's time to get up. But if you want five more minutes, just smack me upside the head and I'll come back later and repeat the process." He would've needed a medic every morning.
Does the clock think I accidentally set the wrong time on the alarm? I mean, I spent ten minutes trying to figure out how to set it right, of course that's when I want to wake up. But it takes two seconds to slap that button and just keep dreaming. They should make snooze bars just as difficult to set. By the time you figured out what you were doing, you'd be conscious and awake.
Isn't it true though, that those five minutes are worth more than a whole night's sleep combined? It's like the entire night is a warm-up for the real sleep that comes after you hit the snooze bar.
Anyways, if anyone finds out who invented it, let me know. And out of curiosity, how many other people set their clocks fast on purpose?
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