The Angry, Barking, Demon Cat

I'm currently in law school and in the midst of studying for finals: the stress-filled time where I try to learn in three days what I was supposed to have learned in three months.

Meanwhile, a friend asked my wife if we would take care of his cat, Thumper. Being the kind and hospitable woman that she is, she agreed. Of course, she would happen to be out of town the entire week the cat was with "us."

So Thumper showed up and I set out his litter box and cat food, thinking this was all that was needed to take care of a cat. After a long day of studying, I was exhausted, so I went up to bed.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, I heard an ungodly scream. It sounded like demons were outside the door, raging at me. After calming myself down, I realized it was Thumper: the angry, barking, demon-cat.



I soon realized that there was no way to shut this cat up. He would settle down for a few minutes, but every time I was about to get some sleep, he raged. My simple solution was to shut him up in a room where I couldn't hear him. Problem solved.

I woke up the next morning and went to see how Thumper was doing. He greeted me with a few familiar barks and then ran downstairs to his food. Following him out the door was the stench of kitty poo. The damn cat pooped on our brand new carpet.

I spent the next few restless nights waking up in terror at the barks of Thumper the demon cat. I was too scared to lock him up, lest he exact revenge with his kitty poo. Finally my wife got home and laughed at me. She was smart enough to get out a camera and record his howls from the netherworld.



Right now, you're probably thinking one of two things. Some of you are thinking, "Awww, that poor little kitty is just lonely. Kitty just needs to be petted." If you are, then you are a sweet and kind person with a gentle soul and you probably have flowers somewhere on your blog. You see the good in everyone and give homeless people money. You're the type of person I wish I could be.

The rest of you are probably thinking, "Oh Shit! That demon cat is possessed and barking! That's hilarious!" You're the type of person who laughs at other people's misfortune and makes fun of your friends who blog. The good thing is that you can find humor in almost anything, even in the worst imaginable situation. You're the type who would procrastinate by posting about barking demon cats instead of studying for finals.

At any rate, here's to Thumper: the angry, barking, demon cat. You annoy the hell out of me, but thankfully, I'm the type to think that's funny.