This page provides links to all of MySpam. MySpam is a way for me to actually enjoy all of the crappy spam that I've been getting in my email. There's tons of it, so I figured I should find a way to enjoy them. Through MySpam, I get to talk about why these emails entertain me. They are annoying, yes, but also quite humorous.
1)Rob Huge Banks and Get Away With It
2)Mind Control Powers
3)Sword from Samuarai
4)Be a Man
5)Foreign Spam
6)Sleep Soundly and Awake Rested
7)That so Barberry
8)Next of Kin: Peabody
9)Cleanse Colon
10)Generic Drugs
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
When Married, Should the Woman Have to Take on the Man's Last Name?
Big wedding coming up tomorrow for me and many of my friends. I'll write about that later. But interestingly enough, I read a post by Nathan that got me thinking. I decided to make a brief comment on his blog, but it got rather lengthy. I was hoping others might chime in with their opinion, but so far, no luck. So now I'm posting it here, hoping that it might spark a discussion. I don't know, maybe it's not a big deal and nobody cares. Maybe you'd rather not take time to think up a response. Whatever.
Anyways, you should read his post first (in the link below), then read my response. The topic is: whether or not a woman should take on the man's last name. Is this another of our chauvinistic traditions? I wonder what happens with gay marriages, since it will probably only be a matter of time before that becomes legalized in every state. I'm just curious what you all think. Especially the womenfolk. Is this degrading or something? Do you even care? Hopefully some people will take the time to add their two cents. Thanks.
Nathan's thoughts: To Keep or Not Keep Thy Last Name
My response:
While I agree that this is something that should definitely be talked about between the man and woman, I'm not sure I agree that we shouldn't hang on to our "caveman way of things."
It seems to me that there are four choices here:
1) Woman takes man's name.
2) Man takes woman's name.
3) Man and woman join name (the hyphen thing).
4) Man and woman keep original name.
Before we begin choosing which of these is the best choice, we all have to agree that we are basing our desicion on what we think is the best general practice for all society. I think each couple should be free to do as they please, but if we had to choose a rule that everyone were forced to follow, I think our current caveman method is the best.
Number three can be easily ruled out as the best choice. As I said, it may work on an individual basis, but as a general rule, it's no good. All we need to do is look two generations down the line to see how confusing this could be. "We are gathered here today to join together Joe Whatam-Ess and Jane Werema-King in holy matrimony...It is my pleasure to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Joe and Jane Whatam-Ess-Werema-King!" As you can clearly see, within a few generations things would be chaotic. This cannot be the norm for our society.
Next, we'll move on to number 4. I think the biggest problem this would create would be in naming the child. The original purpose of marriage was to create a family and we have to assume (for the sake of this argument) that this is still the goal of marriage. So if each spouse keeps their own name, what do you name the child? Either name you choose completely alienates the other parent and breaks down one of the essential components of a family: namely, the "name." Even without the child, there is something basic and necessary about the married couple taking on the same name. It's the whole, "two become one" thing. I rest my case on this one, but will argue the point further if necessary in future discussions.
That leaves us with the first two options. The choice between these two is simple. They are virtually the same thing, except that one has a few thousand years of tradition backing it up. I can see no logical reason to suddenly switch to the other method. It just wouldn't make any sense to do this as a society. And we would lose one of the best used password clues we have: "What is your mother's maiden name?" That alone should be enough to keep things the way they are.
So as for me, I think it's best to stick to the caveman way of things. At least on a societal scale.
Anyways, you should read his post first (in the link below), then read my response. The topic is: whether or not a woman should take on the man's last name. Is this another of our chauvinistic traditions? I wonder what happens with gay marriages, since it will probably only be a matter of time before that becomes legalized in every state. I'm just curious what you all think. Especially the womenfolk. Is this degrading or something? Do you even care? Hopefully some people will take the time to add their two cents. Thanks.
Nathan's thoughts: To Keep or Not Keep Thy Last Name
My response:
While I agree that this is something that should definitely be talked about between the man and woman, I'm not sure I agree that we shouldn't hang on to our "caveman way of things."
It seems to me that there are four choices here:
1) Woman takes man's name.
2) Man takes woman's name.
3) Man and woman join name (the hyphen thing).
4) Man and woman keep original name.
Before we begin choosing which of these is the best choice, we all have to agree that we are basing our desicion on what we think is the best general practice for all society. I think each couple should be free to do as they please, but if we had to choose a rule that everyone were forced to follow, I think our current caveman method is the best.
Number three can be easily ruled out as the best choice. As I said, it may work on an individual basis, but as a general rule, it's no good. All we need to do is look two generations down the line to see how confusing this could be. "We are gathered here today to join together Joe Whatam-Ess and Jane Werema-King in holy matrimony...It is my pleasure to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Joe and Jane Whatam-Ess-Werema-King!" As you can clearly see, within a few generations things would be chaotic. This cannot be the norm for our society.
Next, we'll move on to number 4. I think the biggest problem this would create would be in naming the child. The original purpose of marriage was to create a family and we have to assume (for the sake of this argument) that this is still the goal of marriage. So if each spouse keeps their own name, what do you name the child? Either name you choose completely alienates the other parent and breaks down one of the essential components of a family: namely, the "name." Even without the child, there is something basic and necessary about the married couple taking on the same name. It's the whole, "two become one" thing. I rest my case on this one, but will argue the point further if necessary in future discussions.
That leaves us with the first two options. The choice between these two is simple. They are virtually the same thing, except that one has a few thousand years of tradition backing it up. I can see no logical reason to suddenly switch to the other method. It just wouldn't make any sense to do this as a society. And we would lose one of the best used password clues we have: "What is your mother's maiden name?" That alone should be enough to keep things the way they are.
So as for me, I think it's best to stick to the caveman way of things. At least on a societal scale.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Gift Card Dispensers
I frequently find myself coming up with ideas that I think are genius. I'm sure you all do too, but mine really are. Anyways, I don't know what else to do with them, so you are free to hack my ideas and make money off of them. Most of my ideas are probably already stolen from others, or have already been invented and I just don't know it. As a landscaping technician, I had the brilliant idea of having a mulch blower that spreads mulch out of a huge tube. I guess it already exists.
So anyways, I was shopping this Christmas and thought of another great idea. First of all, money is just as valid a gift as gift cards are. Only better, because you're not restricted to one store. Sorry, just had to throw that in there.
So here's the idea. Someone should create big gift card dispensers to put in malls and large shopping centers. They could be next to coke machines, or maps, or just located at the entrance or any other convenient place. Then you put your credit card in (like at a gas station), select the store you want your card from, then punch in the amount you want on the gift card. The machine sets it all up electronically, then shoots out your gift card. You could do all your shopping in one stop.
Then you could have deals with other stores, so Wal-Mart could make a deal with Borders or whoever and put some of their gift cards in a store dispenser. People would go to Wal-Mart to do all their holiday shopping. It's seems easy enough to do.
Yeah, so that's pretty much it. Of course if you were really smart, you'd just do all your shopping online. And, Doug happened to write a relevant post on his blog yesterday. It's about buying and selling gift cards online. Check it out here.
So anyways, I was shopping this Christmas and thought of another great idea. First of all, money is just as valid a gift as gift cards are. Only better, because you're not restricted to one store. Sorry, just had to throw that in there.
So here's the idea. Someone should create big gift card dispensers to put in malls and large shopping centers. They could be next to coke machines, or maps, or just located at the entrance or any other convenient place. Then you put your credit card in (like at a gas station), select the store you want your card from, then punch in the amount you want on the gift card. The machine sets it all up electronically, then shoots out your gift card. You could do all your shopping in one stop.
Then you could have deals with other stores, so Wal-Mart could make a deal with Borders or whoever and put some of their gift cards in a store dispenser. People would go to Wal-Mart to do all their holiday shopping. It's seems easy enough to do.
Yeah, so that's pretty much it. Of course if you were really smart, you'd just do all your shopping online. And, Doug happened to write a relevant post on his blog yesterday. It's about buying and selling gift cards online. Check it out here.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Literature Class Story
I received this in an email a few years ago and it finally made its way back around again. I'm sure someone made it up, but who cares. I thought it was pretty funny both times, so in case you haven't received it yet, you can read it here:
From The Halls of Academia:
An English Professor assigned his students to a joint writing exercise that
quickly degraded...
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on, back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
THE STORY:
(First paragraph by Rebecca)
-----------------------------------------------
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(Second paragraph by Gary)
--------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation17", he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anuudrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks that pushed the unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anuudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85
million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference
table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!
Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F***ing TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
(Rebecca)
-------------------------------------------------------
Asshole.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Bitch.
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
Get screwed.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Eat shit.
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
SCREW YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
(Gary) ----------------------------------------------------------
GO DRINK SOME TEA BITCH.
***********************************************
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one.
From The Halls of Academia:
An English Professor assigned his students to a joint writing exercise that
quickly degraded...
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on, back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
THE STORY:
(First paragraph by Rebecca)
-----------------------------------------------
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(Second paragraph by Gary)
--------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation17", he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anuudrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks that pushed the unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anuudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85
million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference
table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!
Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F***ing TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
(Rebecca)
-------------------------------------------------------
Asshole.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Bitch.
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
Get screwed.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Eat shit.
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
SCREW YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
(Gary) ----------------------------------------------------------
GO DRINK SOME TEA BITCH.
***********************************************
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one.
Colts New Strategy: Desperate Times...
Okay, we're all agreed that the Colts defense is absurd and needs a lot of help (Bob better not get hurt this week). I still believe we can win a couple road games to make it to the Super Bowl. But it's going to take some unconventional football strategy. Here's what I propose:
After every kickoff or punt, we let the opposing team run it all the way back to the thirty yard line (And Adam Vinateri is no longer allowed to tackle for our special teams--If their return man breaks it past the thirty, just let him score). We know that every team is going to eventually get to the thirty yard line, so let's go ahead and spot them that field position. Now we play to hold them to a field goal, or maybe get lucky with a turnover. At best, they can only run off like five minutes before they score, and now we're putting the ball back into our offense's hands.
Peyton & Co. have to score every time anyways, but at least now they'll be able to wear down an opponent's defense and hopefully we'll get a couple more touchdowns and hold them to a few field goals. Maybe everyone scores touchdowns and we can get the coin toss in overtime and win that way. At least now we're playing to our team's strengths, getting more snaps for Peyton, and we'll have the worst special teams in the league instead of the worst defense. I can live with that. Nobody ever says, "you can't win a Super Bowl without a top ten special teams."
The defense would only be giving up thirty yards per drive, which isn't that bad. I am convinced that this strategy is the best chance we've got. We could even take it a step further and go for an onside kick every time. This would serve the same purpose as the above mentioned strategy and also give us a chance to get another offensive possession.
In all honesty, I actually haven't given up on the Colts yet. I still believe they can win a Super Bowl. Unfortunately, I have no evidence to support this belief.
After every kickoff or punt, we let the opposing team run it all the way back to the thirty yard line (And Adam Vinateri is no longer allowed to tackle for our special teams--If their return man breaks it past the thirty, just let him score). We know that every team is going to eventually get to the thirty yard line, so let's go ahead and spot them that field position. Now we play to hold them to a field goal, or maybe get lucky with a turnover. At best, they can only run off like five minutes before they score, and now we're putting the ball back into our offense's hands.
Peyton & Co. have to score every time anyways, but at least now they'll be able to wear down an opponent's defense and hopefully we'll get a couple more touchdowns and hold them to a few field goals. Maybe everyone scores touchdowns and we can get the coin toss in overtime and win that way. At least now we're playing to our team's strengths, getting more snaps for Peyton, and we'll have the worst special teams in the league instead of the worst defense. I can live with that. Nobody ever says, "you can't win a Super Bowl without a top ten special teams."
The defense would only be giving up thirty yards per drive, which isn't that bad. I am convinced that this strategy is the best chance we've got. We could even take it a step further and go for an onside kick every time. This would serve the same purpose as the above mentioned strategy and also give us a chance to get another offensive possession.
In all honesty, I actually haven't given up on the Colts yet. I still believe they can win a Super Bowl. Unfortunately, I have no evidence to support this belief.
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