The New England Patriots Are Cheating Cheaters, Who's Next?

By now I'm sure you all know that the Patriots are cheating bastards. They have violated league rules by videotaping defensive signals given by the New York Jets in last Sunday's "victory." This is surely not the first time they have done this, but it appears this time there is evidence to support the facts and now the commissioner will have to deal with it.

This is upsetting to me on a number of levels. First of all, the Patriots really are one of the best teams in the NFL. On an individual level, they outmatch just about every other team at almost any position. Everyone in that organization is really talented at what they do. They are the last team that needs to resort to spying in order to win.

If I'm a Pats fan, I'm even more disgusted by this. If I'm a player, I'm extra pissed off. Consider this response from Patriot cornerback Ellis Hobbs when the allegations first came out:

We put too many hours in as individuals and a team to have to go out and cheat. If it's true, obviously, we're in the wrong. But I'm standing behind my team, my coaches. I don't think we do that stuff.

Can you imagine how pissed you would be after making a statement like that in support of your team?

So hopefully Roger Goodell will come down with the harshest punishment possible. He has to. The damage has already been extensive and nothing is worse than damaging the integrity of the game. If we, as fans, can't be certain that everyone is playing on a level field, we're not going to buy into this game. And I love the game. I hate crap like this, even if it does confirm that the Patriots are the cheating cheaters who we always knew them to be.

The other frustrating thing is that even after the punishment is done, there's no way to repair the damage. I'm still upset that more wasn't done about Shawne Merriman. I mean, the guy gets busted for using steroids after winning the NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year award and going to the Pro Bowl the previous year. So he gets a little 4-game suspension and is a starter in the Pro Bowl that same year? That is absurd to me. How can you support that? Jose Canseco, Mark McGuire, Barry Bonds- these guys had their reputation and their legacy basically ruined by steroids and ruined the integrity of their game. But a hot Pro Bowl linebacker does the same thing and is as popular as ever. He's still endorsed by all the biggest corporate sponsors and is even lucky enough to be in the best NFL commercial so far this year. It's just not right.

The ridiculous thing in both cases is that neither team needed the extra cheating. San Diego still went on to have the best record in the NFL, even with those four games Merriman was out. And the Patriots should never have to cheat to beat the Jets.

The thing that scares me the most is this. Those two teams are the cream of the NFL crop. And which team has the best regular season record in the NFL since 1999? Yep. The Indianapolis Colts. It seems a bit naive to me to think they've done that without bending any rules. Personally, I don't think they have. I seriously believe that integrity and character is more important to this franchise than wins and losses. But I also know that sometimes the people you least expect, are the ones dirtying up the laundry.

Real American Justice?

America needs a better justice system. I don't think I'm saying anything that you would disagree with, as I've never heard anyone say, "The American system of justice RULZ!"

This is a problem that every society faces and one that will probably never be perfected. However, it amazes me that we have made such incredible advances in science and technology, but we still haven't figured out a way to make the risks of molesting a six year old outweigh the benefits. (yes, I know we're dealing with sick people who don't weigh the costs of their actions- it's just an example) That kind of crap still happens way too much and often by the same offender.

A recent example of this is Warren Central senior, Michael Bell, who "allegedly" raped a sixteen year old girl in a Warren Central stairwell. The seventeen year old boy rapist had been involved in an incident two years prior to this event, where he apparently tried to rape someone else.

If you want more examples, just glance through your local paper and read up on the offenders. I'll bet 80% of them have some kind of prior history related to their crime.

So, it seems we aren't doing enough to prevent this kind of crap from happening. Maybe we could ship all of our criminals to Australia? Like I said, I don't have any answers here, but I am encouraged by a couple of recent events that may take us a step in the right direction: Public humiliation.

First up is a story about a judge in Alabama, who sentenced two shoplifters to wear signs that read, "I AM A THIEF- I STOLE FROM WALMART." I happen to think that this is brilliant.



Next is a story about our good friend O.J. Simpson. O.J. was trying to eat some steak before the Kentucky Derby. The owner of the steakhouse (Jeff Ruby) said he would not serve Mr. Simpson and asked him (and his 12-man entourage) to leave the restaurant. "I didn't want to serve him because of my convictions of what he's done to those families."

This is also brilliant. I wish more owners and corporations would act with this kind of integrity.



Anyways, we're not changing the world here, but I like the idea of more public humiliation for our criminals. Not everyone is as recognizable as OJ, so we should brand them all; that way they can be recognized and avoided and discriminated against. I realize this isn't very forgiving, but I'm sick of hearing about rapists, murderers, molesters, and thieves.



(All photos and derivatives used without permission)

Referenced stories below:
Michael Bell rape

Walmart Thieves

OJ Gets Sacked

Virginia Tech Student Guns Down Thirty-Two

I feel compelled to write something about this tragedy. Surely everyone has heard of this by now, so I will spare the details. It's difficult to imagine what that community is going through right now and it almost feels wrong to even talk about it. Those people are going through so much pain and grief, more than I could ever imagine. The worst thing about it all, is the randomness. The senseless, pointless, destruction of life.

In the next few weeks we're going to hear a lot of details come out about this story. Many will try to make sense of it all, and as often happens when we experience immense pain, we will all question "Why?" Why did this happen? We will hear how easy it is to get a handgun and that the NRA is at fault. We will hear how the administrators at Virginia Tech did not act quickly enough. How police officials could have done more. We'll hear how friends and acquaintenances of the shooter noticed seemingly insignificant tell-tale signs that they should have responded to. We'll hear how the Asian culture puts so much pressure on their children to succeed. Of course we'll hear about video game, music, and television violence and their impact on our society. We'll hear from other schools about their security and their plans to avoid a similar catastrophe and what Virginia Tech should have done. We'll all try to make sense of this mess, and eventually, most of us will move on. At least those of us who are far enough removed from the event.

So why did this happen? And why is it so important for us to figure out how it happened? Obviously we like to learn from our mistakes and we want to do everything we can to prevent something like this happening again. That's why we're not allowed to bring liquids onto a plane.

I don't know why this happened. I know it wasn't the fault of any one organization, any breach of security, any one rule, video game, or individual. I think part of the reason we want an answer so badly is because we all feel a sense of guilt over something like this. We want to pinpoint exactly where we can do better and then we want to make that change. We all feel like we could have done more. That we should have done more. And we're all probably right.

Somehow, we all feel guilty about this. We all want reconciliation for what happened. We want answers and we never want to hear of something like this again. I don't know what we can do.

So, I'll leave you with a quote from one of our own great poets. He was fortunate enough to have passed from this world before witnessing this recent reminder of what humankind is capable of doing to itself. But we've been doing this sort of thing for years.

"Hello, babies.
Welcome to Earth.
It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter.
It's round and wet and crowded.
At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here.
There's only one rule that I know of, babies:

God damn it, you've got to be kind."
-Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

Virginia Tech Shooting

Other bloggers thoughts

The Faggot Family Launches National Faggot Week

Yeah, you heard me. The Faggot Family.

The problem with trying to write something funny about this news story is that nothing can possibly make it funnier. The only thing that makes this even better is that the "Faggot Family" actually has the real last name of Doody. I'll just let you read the rest of the article. You can't possibly make it funnier. Here are a few questionable quotes from the BBC news story:

"It's unfair because faggots were a British delicacy long before any of the others."

The competition was organised by faggot producer Mr Brain's Faggots.

Faggots were called "savoury ducks" in the Middle Ages.

"The great British faggot is full of flavour and a great belly warmer at this time of year."

Original story:
Family of faggot fans fly the flag

(Thanks of course to Chuck for pointing me to this article)

Joshua Bell Goes Unnoticed in DC Metro

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

-- from "Leisure," by W.H. Davies

Before I say anything more about this, please do yourself a huge favor and just read this article: Pearl's Before Breakfast- Washington Post. Yes, it is long. But if you're going to jump from this blog over to some other blog and spend the next half hour reading mindless stuff, mostly because it's now become your habit, then I strongly suggest you do something different. If just for today. Read the article; then, if you care, you can come back and read what I thought about it.


(Feel free to listen to Joshua Bell play while you read the rest of this post. This video just plays his music, nothing to see here.)

For those of you morons who ignored me and kept reading without going to that article, first of all- go read it! If you still won't, I'll briefly break it down. Joshua Bell, who is a world famous virtuoso violinist (and a native Hoosier), agreed to play in the Washington Metro for about an hour. It was an experiment set up by the Washington Post to see if ordinary people, in the midst of their ordinary routines, would have the capacity to recognize something truly extraordinary.

Bell brought along his 300-year old Stradivarius; the same one he uses in all his concerts and recordings; the same one that's worth just under $4 million. For forty-five minutes, Bell played some of the most powerful and demanding pieces of music ever written. The article quotes Brahms as saying (of one of the pieces), "If I imagined that I could have created, even conceived the piece, I am quite certain that the excess of excitement and earth-shattering experience would have driven me out of my mind."

At the end of his performance, Bell had earned a total of $32.17. The more amazing thing was that for the most part, he went virtually unnoticed by the 1,000 or so people who passed him. Interestingly enough, every child who passed tried to stop and listen to Bell, only to be prodded along by their parents.

When I was traveling in Europe, I used to love all of the street performers. If I had the time, I would have stopped at every one to listen and frequently did. Part of this is because I live in a city where we don't really have any street performers. Except for that guy who plays Christmas songs on his trumpet underneath the Arts Garden at Washington and Illinois. So, I'm not really desensitized to it. I imagine that the main reason so many people ignored Joshua Bell, was because they were used to ignoring street performers. It does surprise me that his expertise didn't attract more onlookers, but I can understand why that happened.

The scary thing is to think of the many beautiful things in my life that I have become numb to. So much of my life is just routine. It's hard to enjoy a dull morning ride to work. It's much easier to just put everything on cruise control.

Yesterday at our Bright Monday Barbecue, The Tickler and I were stuck in line to get food. We were at the back of the line and going nowhere. He told me about a satirical sketch he had done with some friends, where the main characters would go stand in line for things (restaurants, clubs, etc.). When they finally made it to the front of the line, they would just leave and go stand in another long line. He made a comment along the lines of, "It's not the destination, it's the journey." We were talking about it jokingly, but it strikes me how true this really is.

The sad thing is that everybody already knows this. When I hear someone say, "be sure to stop and smell the roses," I don't even listen. I don't think about what that even means. Of course I know I'm supposed to enjoy everything, but I don't. I could be walking by a once in a lifetime opportunity to hear music that moves people to tears, and I wouldn't even know. That scares me.

Life slowly starts to choke the poetry out of us.
-Billy Collins

Amazing fact about Joshua Bell:

He got his first music lessons when he was a 4-year-old in Bloomington, Ind. His parents, both psychologists, decided formal training might be a good idea after they saw that their son had strung rubber bands across his dresser drawers and was replicating classical tunes by ear, moving drawers in and out to vary the pitch.

(Props to Gene Weingarten, for writing the article and Freakonomics for the hat tip)

Indianapolis Bids to Host 2011 Super Bowl

Today, Indianapolis will submit its bid to host the 2011 Super Bowl. Today is the deadline for cities to turn in their bids, and a decision will be made by May 23.

So, cross your fingers, cause this would be sweet for Indianapolis. I don't want to get too excited about anything yet, but nobody should have to tell you that this would be HUGE for our city. Especiallly if the Colts win the next three Super Bowls and then get a chance to play for five rings in a row at home. Yeah, that'd be awesome.

The full story can be read here from IndyStar. But here are a few highlights, as reported by Karen Eschbacher:

Decision is 7 weeks away
• Today: Allison Melangton, senior vice president of event management for the Indiana Sports Corp., flies to New York to hand-deliver the city's bid to the NFL offices.

• April 10: Representatives from Indianapolis 2011 Inc. will meet with NFL staff in Philadelphia to review the bid and discuss possible improvements. The city can continue refining its proposal until shortly before a location is chosen.

• May 21-23: NFL team owners will hold their spring meeting in Nashville, Tenn., and are expected to choose a location for the 2011 Super Bowl. Decision is 7 weeks away

The process
Each location hoping to host the Super Bowl will make a 10-minute presentation during the owners' spring meeting in Nashville, Tenn. The NFL says the schedule is being finalized, but representatives from Indianapolis said they have been told presentations will take place May 23.

NFL staff will provide the owners an analysis of each bid. The owners of the three teams competing to host the Super Bowl will make closing remarks.

Owners vote by secret ballot. A location needs 75 percent of the votes to win on the first ballot. If no location gets enough support, the lowest vote-getter will be eliminated and then only a simple majority of votes will be needed.

A decision is expected that day.

Anna Nicole Smith is Dead?

Breaking news: Anna Nicole Smith is dead. I wouldn't normally write about something like this, I just hope that people refrain from the obvious jokes and things that could be said. It's a shame and it's probably suicide or some kind of overdose.

It is ironic that she barely survived the man she married to get her fortune. I feel sorry for her kids and hope this doesn't turn into some big media fiasco. I'm sure it will though. The fact that I'm even mentioning it proves that. Anyways, you'll have to go elsewhere for details. Just please be respectful.

Drudge: Anna Nicole Smith Dies

AP Story: Anna Nicole Smith dies after collapsing

Indianapolis to Host Marathon

Most of you have heard of the Indianapolis Mini-Marathon, and many have probably participated before. Well, now we're going to get a full marathon as well. See article below:

New Indy Marathon

Register Here

TriPong: Three-Player Ping Pong

I haven't found anywhere that actually explains how the game is played, but apparently someone has finally invented a way for three people to play ping pong at the same time. He calls it TriPong.

Secil Boyd built a whole new table for three people to play. From reading the article, it sounds like there's some level of teamwork that has to happen in order to beat the other two players. I really have no idea how it works. If you find out how to play, please let me know. I think ping pong is fun enough with two or four players, but I'd love to try this game. We'll see how popular it gets.

I think it would be sweet if there is still a way to play normal ping pong as well. And if it's possible to have six players play on teams. We really need more information on this.

A link to the article is provded below.

Inventor Creates TriPong

Harry Potter Title Released

J.K. Rowling has finally released the title of the new Harry Potter book. You can figure it out through a series of clues on her website (not really clues, more like random clicking around on the screen), or I will tell you at the bottom of this post. I don't want to ruin it for those who want to figure it out on their own. This normally isn't something I'd write about, except that I'm now a Harry Potter fan and looking forward to the last book.

Do not read any further if you want to figure this out on your own. Just go to www.jkrowling.com.

The title of the new book is......."Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows."

What? I don't like it. Sorry, but that just doesn't do it for me. It should have been, "Harry Potter Rules!" or "Harry Potter and the Day He Finally Released a Can of Wizard Whoop-Ass." Oh well. I'm sure the book is still awesome.

When Common Courtesies Go Too Far: "Farts on a Plane"

My wife actually sent me the link to this story. This is one of those rare examples of taking common courtesies too far. Actually, I'm having a hard time thinking of other times when it is inappropriate to do something courteous. I remember a lady once got upset with me for opening the door for her. She assumed I was some type of misogynist pig. But I open doors for men too. Anyways, that's a bad example. Feel free to come up with your own.

Everyone appreciates someone who is willing to light a match after using the restroom, or passing gas (my wife demands it of me). But here is a situation where not only is it not necessary, it could very well be a Federal offense. I'll just let you read it for yourself. I feel sorry for whoever had to write a serious story about this event.

Flatulence on plane sparks emergency landing