The National Media Hates the Colts...

And they're not too fond of the Bears either.

I'm sure you've all heard how upset some of the media are about the Colts not arriving in Miami until late Monday (the Bears went down Sunday). That's upsetting enough for the media hordes who have gathered around the tip of northern Cuba (or southern Florida, however you like to look at it). But that's not the main reason they don't like the Indianapolis Colts (and Chicago Bears).

They don't like us because we don't have any megalomanic, egocentric, big-headed recievers. Marvin Harrison is not going to come out and guarantee any victories or come up with any fancy end zone celebrations. Partly because he has no idea where the end zone is during the postseason (which is fine with me, cause he still plays awesome), but mostly because he has character. Not only will he not act like a moron in front of the camera, he will avoid the media at all costs (it's news enough that he will be forced to talk to them. *see here)

And as much as we would all love to see local reserve officer Shaquille O'Neal chasing down Peyton Manning after a drug bust, that episode of "Armed and Famous" will never be seen.

You'll hear no guarantees, nobody will be disrespecting the other team, players aren't going to go Steve Jackson on us and fire shots outside of a strip club. And that sure makes for a boring week of news.

They hate the Bears too because Lovie Smith learned from the Master, and his team carries itself the same way.

It's kind of fun watching the media try to come up with an interesting story. You can tell they're really struggling. Seriously, just take a look at some of the national headlines. It's ridiculous.

I will now spend the rest of my day knocking on wood because I'm sure I've just jinxed the entire team and I won't be surprised to wake up tomorrow morning to hear that Edgerrin James led the entire team on an all night binge of drunken debauchery and they've all been arrested by Shaq and Tony Dungy will have to single-handedly play the Bears.

And he'll still win.

Now I'll knock for that.