Let's Go Out to the Lobby and Get Ourselves a Snack: Why We Call a Cow, "Hamburger"

Yesterday I went to see the movie "Stranger than Fiction" with the wife and parents. It's an awesome movie, very smart and well written. However, the funniest thing about the whole experience occured before the movie even started.

We ordered four beverages and two popcorns. Our drinks were enormous. I could taste the Sprite-syrup in my 64 ounce jug/cup, and it gave me a sugar high that I haven't had since I was like thirteen.

Then we got our popcorn, which was caked in butter. It wasn't dripping with butter though, which made me wonder how long it had been sitting in the bin. Then we came up to the most amazing thing I've seen in a long time. It was a "popcorn station" for people to add fixins to their popcorn. The highlight of this feature was a large pump that released "popcorn topping." I'll come back to that misnomer later.

Just before I could say, "Who in God's green earth would add more fat to this greasy bag of flavored air?" my father walked over to the popcorn station and proceeded to soak his greasy bag with yellow popcorn topping. You might think I was disgusted and revolted and tried to remind my dad that his life was at stake here. You would be wrong. Instead I ventured over and tried some of this topping myself.

Well, it turns out that it was just butter. So I ask myself, why not just call it butter? Why does it have to be popcorn topping? Then I realized that this is just a natural step to disguising things, so we don't have to admit what we're eating. For example, cow meat is called "hamburger." Pig flesh is called "bacon." Baby calf is called "veal." Dog meat is called "Chinese." It's natural that we begin calling butter, "popcorn topping."

As a side note, I think it would be smart if at these "popcorn stations" they actually started providing flavored butter for our popcorn. Like cinnamon butter and types of fruity butter and caramel. I could probably start a movie theater and run away with business just because my theater offered real flavored popcorn topping.

I also found this YouTube video of that old intermission video they used to play. I remember seeing it at drive-in movies. Not sure if they used it way back in the day at the real theaters. It has that hot dog that does tricks for the bun, then jumps into the bun. I have memories of that, man. Kind of disturbing, but funny. (see the 1:08 mark)

"If I Did It" Gets Cancelled-- Sweet Vonage!

"A good decision among many, many stupid ones." Thank goodness, Rupert Murdoch (who owns both Fox and Harper Collins, which is absolutely ridiculous) in an amazing change of conscience, has decided to cancel O.J. Simpson's book and television fiasco.

I'm glad to hear that this absurd project is never going to see the light of day. It's just embarrassing that Murdoch and his "senior management" came to "agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project," only after so many of the American public voiced how inconsiderate and stupid this project was. The fact that they even considered this is quite disturbing. And O.J. should be immediately locked up. If not in prison, than at least in a mental hospital. The dude must be absolutely retarded (my apologies to the mentally handicapped).

At any rate, it looks as though all is right with the world. At least for now. Below is a highlight of the story from the AP article and the full story can be found through a link at the end of this post.

O.J. Simpson book, TV special canceled
By HILLEL ITALIE

No, O.J., no. It was a sequel few had asked for or dared conceive, a television and book project with Simpson describing how he would have killed his ex-wife. Any fascination with Simpson's shocking return to public life was overcome by revulsion and disbelief.

Even Rupert Murdoch, a media king with a famous taste for scandal, couldn't stand it anymore. On Monday, he canceled the whole thing, less than a week after it was announced.

"I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project," said Murdoch, whose News Corp. owns both Fox Broadcasting and publisher HarperCollins. "We are sorry for any pain that this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson."

"If I Did It" had been scheduled to air as a two-part interview Nov. 27 and Nov. 29 on Fox, with the book to follow on Nov. 30. HarperCollins spokeswoman Erin Crum said some copies had already been shipped to stores but would be recalled, and all copies would be destroyed. Should any turn up, they will become instant collectors' items.

View the full story here

*UPDATE*
News Corp. accused of hush money offer

Bloggers chime in:
Searching, Searching, Searching
Blogalicious Truths from the Heart
Resisting Inertia

The Colts Finally Lose. Dangit.

Well, I'm upset about the Colts losing yesterday. Actually, I'm not upset that they lost, I'm upset with how they lost the game. I won't spend a lot of time talking about this, because there are tons of people who know a lot more than me who can break it all down for you. But the main reason I'm upset is because when our offense needed to go down and make a score (or at least get a first down), we couldn't. Then when our defense needed to make a stand, we didn't. That's bad news come playoff time. Granted, we've done it just about every other time this season, but it's frustrating that they couldn't pull through yesterday. Oh well, life goes on. Hopefully they'll improve and be ready come playoff time.

Something's Rotten in Perry Township

I received an email today from fellow Indianapolis Blogger Bnpositive, asking if I would be willing to help draw some attention to what has happened in the Metropolitan School District of Perry Township. I had no idea what this was about, but after reading up on it a bit, I am more than happy to let others know about what is going on. Although it doesn't directly effect me, this kind of stuff disgusts me.

Mostly, I will just direct you to articles and websites that will give you all the information you need to know, but just to pique your interest, here's what happened. Four of the seven members on the Perry Township School Board decided to place Superintendent Doug Williams on leave, with the intent to fire him. The other three members of the board were not aware of this decision until the morning of the meeting that ousted Wiliams.

Williams won the Indiana School Superintendent of the Year award in 2003, and is a proven superintendent. The members who voted him out, cite "questionable spending" as a reason for his removal. Although, removing him will cost the taxpayers a considerable amount of money. He is currently under a three year contract and has been offered a buyout. Questionable spending indeed.

I'm not sure if he deserves to be removed or not, the fact is, there aren't enough facts. And those who support the decision to remove Williams, don't seem to want to talk about it. I don't know what we can do at this point, I just hate hearing about stuff like this and thought I would do what I could to at least bring people's attention to it. Below are a few links worth checking out if you are interested in learning more.

Citizens in Support of Dr. Williams: Despite the title, this site remains fairly impartial, just looking for facts and providing a forum for those in support or against Dr. Williams. All other links I provide are also on this site and it is a good place to start if you want to get a lot of background and see where things currently stand.

Perry Township superintendent placed on leave: November 14th article on the board's decision.

Jo Ellen Buffie's reaction: Comments from Board Member (dissenting vote) Jo Ellen Buffie on Monday night's meeting.

MSNBC Coverage: This story makes nationwide headlines.

Board Votes Against Reinstating Williams: IndyStar update. Monday night (11/27/06), Perry Township School Board members voted 4-3 against reinstating superintendent Williams.

Steak n Shake Screws Up, So You Get a Free Milkshake!

I was reading IndyStar this morning and read an awesome article. I'm going to post it in its entirety, because I've found that links to IndyStar articles eventually don't work. Anyways, read on.

Colts fans may have a beef with Steak n Shake ad
By John Russell

Thousands of Indianapolis residents doubtlessly will do a double-take this week when they open the mail to find out their hometown Steak n Shake restaurant is "a proud sponsor of the Dallas Cowboys."

That's quite a public-relations pickle for the Indianapolis-based restaurant chain, especially as the Colts and Cowboys gear up to play this Sunday in Dallas.

The company, known for its steakburgers and milkshakes, inadvertently sent a mailer promoting its "Cowboys side-by-side milkshake" to more than 600,000 Indianapolis residents.

It was intended for the Dallas market. Some were mailed in Chicago and St. Louis.

Steak n Shake, which sponsors the Colts and the Cowboys, apologized Wednesday.

"We feel just terrible," said Steven Schiller, chief marketing officer. "We sponsor only two teams. They just happened to be playing each other this weekend. We obviously messed up, and we hope Colts fans will be understanding."

Steak n Shake said the mistake was a result of human error by its mailing vendor, ADVO.

Steak n Shake said it had received about 10 calls from Indianapolis residents. "Some were angry. But when we explained it was an accident, they understood," Schiller said.

So Steak n Shake will offer dine-in customers wearing Colts gear a free milkshake -- including the Colts Blue and White Side-by-Side Shake -- from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sunday.

-Article from IndyStar.com. Star reporter John Russell. Permalink

It seems this would be a difficult mistake to make, but then again... O.J. reminds us that you can always do something even more moronic.